slave jess

Journal of Joels slave
2005-09-04 00:44:19 (UTC)

sub diary 03-09-05

greetings,

things with Master are better but i still cant bring myself
to understand what my problem is.

saturdays are a busy day in my store. i want more than
anything to be rid of it. now is the time as it is turning
over a good profit. to add to it i dont wish to be here
anymore.

my day was uneventful. i have a sibling that is to be
married soon so tonight is a party. i have been good for a
couple weeks so now find i wish to drink. i am drinking to
help. i have been having very dark thoughts lately.

i spoke to Master for a short while. i dont think He was
impressed with my state but it was the best of two evils. i
am so down on myself and dont wish to discuss what i had
been going through.

i have a certain ritual i do every night when safe so i
have a dilemma (sp) should i do it and hope i am fine or
not do it and suffer the wrath of Master. i dont know what
to do. Master didnt advise me so i hope i make the right
decision on this.

i love You Master
love
slave jess {MJ}




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