jenn9834531

Jenn
2005-08-29 00:19:00 (UTC)

Shattered Dreams...

I am one of the fotunate few. I have real friends. I can
quickly name a half-dozen people with whom I would say I
have a really good realtionship. To be certain I'm not
kiddin gmyself, I just wrote six names on a slip of
paper.... So the names I wrote....I look at them....The
friends who made this list, are all friends who do
something for me....Its not what I do for them that got
them on the list; its what they do for me. My first
impulse is to be selfish. i can think of several people, a
considerable number acutally, who would speak warmly of
what I do or have done fo them, but they're not on the
list. Its true that the six peple whose names I wrote down
would each say that I mean a great deal to them, but thats
not why their names are on teh list. I thoguth of them
because they mean a great deal to me.Jesus told us that it
is more blessed to give than to receive. If i really
believed that, maybe the names on my list would be
different. Apparently, the people I'm most happy to be in
a relationhip with are people who give somethign to me,
not the ones who offer me the chance to give. The people
on my list respond to my concerns. They use their
resources on my behalf. When i have a need, they meet it
if they can. I like that about them. Chaylas name is at
the top of my list. She knows how tired and frustrated
i've felt these past few motnhs. i cant imagine her
withholding anything i wanted that was within her power to
grant. the same witht he other five names. it's an old
phrase but true: these people would do anything for me.
thats why they're on my list.

So i'm left with an obvious fact. the people I most
cherish in all the world ar teh people I can count on to
do for me what I most want. I suspect if you wrote down
the names of the six people whose friendship you most
value, the same fact might be obvious to you. As you might
ponder that fact, your immediate impulse, especially if
your christian...is to guiltily conclude that were
therefore hopelessly mired in disgusting self
centeredness. It seems that what we most value in
friendship reflects our corruption, our depraved natures.
They would be my conclusion about myself if it were not
for the words of Jesus. he told his disciples "anyone who
will nto receive the kingdom of God like a little child
will never enter it" (Luke 18:17). now the most noticeable
characteristic of littler children is that they are
takers, and often unattracitve ones at that. jesus was not
being sentimental, he was not saying "look at the little
darlings, they're so cute!, here let me hold each one"

..No ..when he rebuked his disciples for telling a crowd
of parents to stop bothering jesus with all those sick
little kids, he was saying somethign very different. If we
were there, i think we would have undertood him to mean
something like this "Nobody is more needy and has less to
give than an infant. babies never intentionally give
anything of value to anyone. Sure, they can be fun to
cuddle and fascinating to look at, but never because they
want to be. They never look for ways to bless. they're
takes through and through, not only because they're
selfish (thought they are) but because they're helpless.
Be like that! you are helpless, so admit it. Learn to
receive what you cannot provide for yourself." he was
recommending brokeness, somethign we life to avoid.

Its not only more blessed to give than to received, its
also a whole lot easier. I think I know what this means...
I find it much easier to counsel than to be counseled, to
reach out to a friend in my group who is feelign insecure
than to reveal my own insecutirty. The truth is we dont
much like being dependent. we dont enjoy admitting how
desperately we long for osmeones kindness and involvement.
its so humbling.
which is precisely why Jesus said what eh did. he wants us
to humble ourselves, to let someone know when we could
really use a hug or quality time, to let the spirit know
we need him to change our hearts, to confess to our
community of close friends the weaknesses we should have
resolved by now....

the weaknesses we should have resolved by now...




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