Completely Incomplete

Letting Go Is All I've Held Onto
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2005-08-26 17:32:39 (UTC)

Truth?

There's a weight in the back of my mind. Pressed tight to
every thought. I know something ... I discovered a devious
scam, by comon knowledge. But I don't know what to do. I
want to open up to someone ... Someone who isn't involved.

Nik is gone for vacation later today. I'm going to miss
him so much. But it will be good for him, so I'll cut the
pathetic weak and needy cries, and suck it up. It's only a
week. I'll live, jesus.

I just almost passed out. My vision started to go, and
then I flopped on the bed as fast as possible.

Could this be driving me back to the old stress related
black outs?

God, I'll have to tell someone the truth. But I don't want
to. It'll have to be someone, like I said, not involved.

Brennan? He seems the only answer right now. And one of
the few people who talks to me everyday. All the time.
He's a good freind of mine.

I feel horrible. Nik is going away, my voice of reason.
Kade and I haven't really been talking, so I'll leave him
alone for a while.

I think I'll just occasionally come onto the computer.
When I need to write in this ... diary. And talk to
people. Not stay on all night, I'll find something on
television to waste away in front of.

I'm going to miss Nik. Gah. I can't get my mind off of it.
Last time I left him for a week, I was doing something.
They tried to keep my mind off of him.

Now what? Ha. Mom and I were on a make over site. My
camera is a piece of shit, so we couldn't get a decent
photo. Haha.

I'm going to be bored and lonely. Especially because mom
goes back to work tomorrow? Or today. I don't remember. I
have no one to constantly annoy into doing something with
me.

Maybe I'll start playing video games again. Just like the
good old days. Heh. The good old days ... So far away.

But let's not dwell on the past, that'll get me no where
but in denial. My nose is running ... Stupid cat. I have
to admit, the little bitch has grown on me. When she
reaches up and licks your nose, it's hard not to love her.
Damnit.

-Sigh- Well this entry was suposed to be about my problem,
but now I've gone just a bit off topic. Haha. Anyhow, I'll
make this short and sweet. ... Uhh ... Farewell.


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