aaronisonfire

alone and adored
2005-08-26 00:59:30 (UTC)

Grown Up and Still Fuckless

well lets see... its been quite a while since ive tuned in
here but lets take a look-see shall we? schools over.. i
passed precal (51%), i got into Dal arts, although not Dal
science, Ive basically quit rowing (here anyway) my dad
jsut had a brain aneurysm but hes alright we think even
though he was rushed off to the hospital (again) tonight
while i was at work... i still have no friends and i think
the only times i went out this summer were to play tennis
once, hike once and surf once. and movies... 3 times? yah
im still a loser. unis starting soon ohh i cant wait a
whole new world of low self esteem... i jsut say that- its
not even like low self esteem... sometimes i cant connect
right off the bat and people have been telling me my while
life i need to smile more and "yah you looked like a bitch
when i first met you" that i dont even try anymore...fuck
everyone.. i actually cant believe how rude some people are
it fucks me up... a note to everyone out there; the reason
why i dont have a lot of friends?- because they have all
done something to me or to someone i care about that is
unforgivable to me so much so that i have deemed them
shallow and unworthy of my friendship (in other words you
have caused me to resent you) so FUCK YOU I CAN DROP YOU
(our friendship) LIKE A TON OF BRICKS... SO DO NOT PISS ME
OFF. TREAT EVERYONE WITH RESPECT. DONT GOSSIP. AND
UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF A SECRET YOU SELFISH FUCKS. i
understand you need a juicey little tid bit for wednesdays
teaparty but whoaaa whatch who you talk shit about... not
only will it get back to me but i will make sure i never
forget.

thats pretty much my entire attitude in a nutshell.. want
examples? jsut ask.

so back to my shitty summer... i worked way too much for
money i dont really care about, i still have a quart of
vodka from fucking hatfield and needless to say- i chilled
with practically no one of my 'friends' who needless to
say.. did not call me all summer. im getting a little bit
sick of this althought honestly.. i carry it well.. im not
introverted and shy around strangers its actually the
opposite i become closed up around my friends. so i guess
thats why i didnt go to the only party i was invited to
this summer.. partly out of resentment towards the hostess
adn partly to aviod and awkward social situation.. jesus..
wtf is going on... but to 'let my guard down' .. i hope
university proves different


bummer summer :( a little bummed and in need of a man-hug





Ad: