muse

void deck
2005-08-24 08:11:17 (UTC)

i have a problem

i have a problem with myself. i feel so unhappy currently. i
try to believe that this is all caused by the pressure of
school and the lack of friendship. i can't anymore.

it's not all those reasons. it's me. i know if i look
around, there are always people who care for me and
sincerely want to be my friend. i know if i am more
discipline, i would not lack behind my schoolwork. i know, i
know yet i could not or rather, i would notdo those things
to make my life easier. i'm crazy.

maybe it all goes back to who is by your side. i have no one
i really care about beside me now. i don't love my friends
anymore. i don't even love myself.

sometimes, death is really a better option. i'm a pain in
the neck to live with. god must be very disappointed with
me. stubborn and self-torturing. and a backslider. i deserve
my misery. i deserve all these unhappiness.

i have done nothing to prove that i'm worthy of happiness.




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