taking heed

slightly exaggerated
Ad 2:
2005-08-24 06:04:45 (UTC)

the return from the hiatus?

today i found out something that peeled back my eyelids,
grabbed me by the scalp and made me realize. sort of. i,
for once, do not play the overly neurotic freak, lead role
in the production called relationship. i by no means am
close to being secure in the whole thing, i never will
(does anyone?), i mean, it's a realtionship, they are
dangerous and risky and hurt and are awesome and hot and
rad, but for my money, my girlfriend is more paranoid than
me on this one. thank you zoloft. this both frightens and
excites me. frightens because i've so often, cough, been
on the other side of the ledger and i know how it can fuck
things over, but no one can be as fucked as i was. at
least no one, odds are, that i will ever be involved with.
maybe. and it excites me because i'm finally turning a
goddamn corner, allowing myself to be more vullnerable
than ever before. it's scarey and i will likely get hurt,
but it feels nice, it feels fresh, and i think i'm in

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