ABeautifulDisaster

Ramblings of an Angry Squirrel
2005-08-22 14:28:11 (UTC)

I'm torn into pieces

Dear Diary,

I couldn't sleep last night. I was up til 2 something with
Ashley on the computer, and then I woke up at 5. I fell
backo sleep but it wasn't a good sleep. and now here I am
at 9. Bleh.

I wonder if I annoy people on Facebook. I think I do.
Rebecca hasn't messaged me back, or Tay or any of the girls
I messaged. The only people that message me are Michael
and Ashley. I wonder if it's me. Maybe I do annoy them.
They don't really know me, you know? Oh well. I shouldn't
get so wrapped up in it. I shouldn't be like "Oh please
message me, please someone be my riend!!" I didn't think
that's how I'd been. Hmm....

Zac and I had a fight yesterday. Last night actually. I
almost broke up with him. I mean...for real. But for some
sick reason, he wants me to stay with him, even though he
knwos I'm unhappy with the relationship. I'm ready to
leave, but he is the one begging me to stay. Not really
begging. More like "I"ll make it up to you"....and then
it's not made up. He had a while to make things up to me,
but now I wonder if it's not something we can fix.

I don't know. I'm really confused. Maybe it really isn't
something we can fix. I think I'm also worried that I'm so
ready ot end the relationship, it's like "What's the point
of holding on?" I mean...I doubt I'd be that upset for
long. I don't know that sounds mean. But it's true.

I just don't know. If I weren't so concerned about him,
this would be no problem. *sigh*

*T*




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