Date With Destiny
I hate to start the day....
From hookd.thru.gills on 2/22/2004 10:51:08 AM
....with something so negative, but I must get it off of
my chest. I'm angry as hell, and am writing down my anger
instead of smoking it away. How's that for size???
I'm mad at the tobacco companies for spending so much
money to smother us in smoking ads from the time we
breathe our first breath on this earth until we die. Those
rat bastards spend their whole careers trying to get us
hooked on a drug and they are shameless in their tactics.
I'd say what I wish would happen to them, but I'm too nice
to truly wish those things on anyone (although I will tell
you that the words "nutz in a vice" do come to mind).
Our government sucks root. Nicotine kills hundreds of
thousands of people every year and it is legal, while they
ban or keep illegal substances like ephedrine and
marijuana- even thought these substances harm almost no
one- either directly or incidentally. It's interesting to
me that both of these latter substances directly compete
with prescription drugs- namely meridia (and whatever new
weight loss thing they come up with) and prozac, zoloft-
any anti depressant for that matter. Our government wants
us to rely on IT for our every need- and it will also kill
us to receive the benefits from Big Tobacco (capital B
capitol T). Then they tax the crap out of the addicts
while still taking payoffs form the BT companies. There's
a lot more I could write on our government and this
subject, but I'd probably sound like a truly paranoid
person, and I don't want my qmail inundated with qmails
regarding Kennedy conspiracy theories, so I'll end it here-
but trust me, I could go on for a LONG LONG time.
I'm angry at society for treating smokers like lepers
instead of the drug addicts they are, and for focusing on
laws instead of treatment and education.
But mostly, I am mad at myself for being SUCH A FREAKING
IDIOT and thinking that smoking was hip or cool or
whatever the hell reason I first smoked- and I DO remember
the very first time. A friend and I walked around her
neighborhood and smoked an entire pack in one night,
walking and spitting, walking and spitting, barely
inhaling at first, but inhaling more and more as the night
wore on, our heads hurting, stomachs nauseated. What
rebels we were. DUMB DUMB DUMB and I could kick myself.
Quitting is the best, most exhilarating thing I have EVER
done in my whole life. At the same time, it is the worst,
most torturous, sucky thing I have ever done, and if I
could somehow put myself into a coma until I was
all "unaddicted" I would. But I know it doesn't work that
way. I could go into a coma today for 5 years and when I
woke up, the first thing I'd probably want would be a cig.
I know that the ONLY way to get through this is to work
through it. Work right the hell through it and never,
ever, ever smoke again ever EVER.
I think this quit thing is like the 5 stages of death. I
think I must be on the anger part right now. I don't have
my Kubler- Ross or whatever on me. Anybody know those
I would also like to apologize in advance for any cynical
replies to posts that I may write today. This is
not "normal" me- so I'll try to keep my responses to a
minimum. Maybe today should just be a "reading" day for me-
Feel a bit better. I hope I didn't get anybody down by
*The opinions expressed in this post do not necessarily
represent the thoughts or opinions of this website because
notice how they are paid for by pharmaceutical companies
which are practically the same thing as all the
organizations that I mentioned so that is very scary to me
but probably entirely coincidental. And no, I don't think
that Oswald was the lone gunman and I also don't think we
ever landed on the moon. Thank you for your time and