supergoddess

This diary is my kief,hashish,&opium pip
2005-08-20 00:37:10 (UTC)

Why does my stupid mom always give me shit?

So, today we're eating dinner like we usually do.

My mom is bitching about how my dad didn't make her a
hamburger and she wanted one, but she doesn't mention it
to him. My parents bitch to eachother like stupid assholes
throughout dinner.

Then my mom asks me about how I got into JB's car with his
mom to wait for the bus because JB wanted to stay in the
air conditioning. So she asked me where they live and
everything and I said I didn't know. And my moms
like "why, you should know who you got on the bus with.
don't you ask them?". I mean, JB probably told me where he
lived but I forgot or something. He goes to my damn bus
stop so he can't live more than a few streets over.

Then John and Gina were like "Yeah howcome you don't
know". And my dad started siding with me saying shit, I
have no clue. Then when my dad went outside to smoke or
something my mom starts saying how my dad is such an
asshole and how she hates him. Then she said me and my dad
are both idiots, and that John and Gina were laughing at
us or some shit.

Yeah, just because you don't agree with what my dad says
doesn't mean I'm an idiot. Shut the hell up you fat bitch.
I'm sick of being stuck inbetween god damn arguements
between my parents. My mom bitches at me for an hour and
then if I don't take her side she bitches at me even more.

Shut the fuck up. I don't really give a shit. Grow the
hell up. Why the hell are my parents such immature
assholes? I don't get it.

I shouldn't have to pick sides with my damn parents like
I'm in fucking first grade.

All my mom does is make me feel like shit every 5 seconds.

JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A MISERABLE BITCH DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN
MAKE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT. SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP.

I swear to god. I know if anyone read this like John or
Gina they'd be like "oh ehm gee, double u tee eff,
Brittany has no respect for anyone and she calls her mom a
fat bitch". Not that I'd ever let anyone see this. But
still.

It's not my fault. I'm fed up with all your bullshit.

What the hell kind of mother repeatedly rubs it in your
face what an asshole your dad is and if you don't agree
with her she gets pissed at you.

And then she calls me an idiot all the time and makes fun
of my hair just because she looks shitty all the time. You
could say she's just kidding or teasing but she's saying
it to hurt me, wether it's conciously or subconciously. I
know all this because I'm amazing and I make up psychology
shit every day. So beleive me.


Wow guys. I'm so going to major in psychology.


Why am I so amazing?


Update later. Right now I have to go throw up in the
shower. I was going to let Pat help me quit throwing up,
but you know what I realized? Pat smokes. He's hurting
himself too. If he can't quit smoking then there's no
chance for me, and I KNEW that even if I could go a year
without throwing up I would eventually revert to my old
ways.

I was talking to Pat and I was like "well if I have to
quit barfing you need to quit smoking. .... OHH WHAT NOW"
and he was like "but it's hard"

Oh. I'm sorry. Quitting bulemia is easy. I'm sorry. You're
right. Quitting smoking is hard. Waking up every morning
and seeing a fat, unadequate person in the mirror and
having to fight back the temptation to purge your brains
out is so easy. Oh man. Telling yourself you're skinny
actually is easy, the hard part is beleiving it.

And I think I'm not skinny enough, okay? So guess who's
half a hamburger is going down the tiolet? Oh, damn. You
caught me. I haven't eaten lunch in 2 days so I've sorta
been cheating all along. The last time I barfed was
Sunday. And today is Friday. Aka, I fail. It hasn't even
been a week. Fuck that shit.

I'm going to send Pat so much shit about how smoking is
going to make him die. That's gonna be funny shit.


Anyway. I need to go barf my brains out. There's nothing
like a good purge, I swear. You feel so clean. And pure.
Like water.

Haha. Taja sent me this thing the other day. It was a girl
drinking Diet Coke, and it said "Diet coke, it's an
annorexia thing"

-----------------------------------
ps- I ended up not purging because I was afraid someone
would hear me.




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