angels heart

Through my eyes..
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2005-08-19 14:52:28 (UTC)

a great run

Hello, i know its been some time since ive written in my
diary but i felt that today was good as any other day. I
have read so many on here full of drama and sexual words
and thoughts. Really is that what we all are drawn to on
here listening to someone who was wronged by another, or
how he cheated on her or who is sleeping with whom? I cant
seem to understand what happened to everyone. Are we so
bored with our own lives that reading about someone elses
pain and suffering is what gets us off? Maybe its a form
of release for many of us or merely just a way to coupe
with the day to day frustrations of the world. I know like
many I come on here every so often and just tell whats on
my mind and not worry who reads it. Maybe in a glimse
someone will read it and say "hey im the same or Im in the
same situation" who knows maybe so. But for me its just
about a good run. You start off slowly in a brisk walk and
progress into a like run and before you know it your
gaining ground and the world is passing before you till you
get to the end of the line. Life is kinda like that, you
start off slow and gradually pick up speed and then only
hope it starts to cruse along...but along the way you start
to lose your breath due to a bump in the road or a bad
knee. Even the pain of the knee gives you a wake up call.
I know ive not been a saint in my adult life. I have
commited some bad acts that most in my family if they knew
them would be shocked. And some were commited on the frame
of mind that...life is to short and im not married to
anyone so who is it hurting..Well in the end i ended up
hurting myself, and the one i was with. Thats no life
thats running at full speed with no regards to the things
im passing up. Is it true comfort i seek in doing things
that i find sweet from the surface or the fact that when
offered something that will give me comfort that ill feel
good briefly then regret it later on? I find that some
things ive accepted were natural responses to what was
given to me..if it were money from a friend to having good
sex from someone that wants a serious relationship when all
i see it as a form of release. Im not perfert never
claimed to be..but i see that i need to take steps to
change my life if im to run a healthy run..not one that
will have me weaving all over the road. these are my
thoughts for the day..
d


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