Amnesia

dude
2005-08-17 07:47:15 (UTC)

Ambition on the rising

First, I have identified full how to overcome my problem
of not being very good with transitioning from one
activity to the other. It is lack of motivation. Once I'm
there, I can't stop. This can be simply achieved through
not only daily meditation upon the task at hand and my
ambitions, but also on images that stand for what I need
to get done.

For example, I know I need to read some books. Their due
in the library (after renewing them) on the 20th of this
month. I've finished the two small ones, the third is an
encyclopedia, the fourth is the memory book, and the last
is Anne Rice's Queen of the Damned. So I know I need to
read the memory book and the Queen, (for short) but I may
be doing nothing and I don't want to get up and do it,
even though I know this is the perfect time, and I will
not get another chance in the day to accomplish the task I
have set out for myself.

If I have previously meditated upon my goal, and have
capured the essence of let's say ambition in a certain
image, if that image is strong enough, I need only think
of it and I will do what I am suppose to. It works just
like with some people who need to tell themselves "Get
up." (Like Trinity in the Matrix) I had something similar.
I put enough value in a statement that I put on my wall.
But now I just avoid to read it. One way or another there
are tricks that can get me in the mood for getting done
what needs to get done. Yet not everything can be done for
you. It is still the will of the individual that will
cause movement and motivation. There is no substitute for
that. There are only methods to manipulate its greatness.

Today is day 3 of my reading endeavors since I planned
them out, more or less. I got ahead of myself on the small
books and finished them. Anne Rice is a tough cookie.
Smaller print then the others, it's harder to speed read.

Began ASL yesterday. I'm learning about 10 words per day
and am alredy constructing sentences. It gets pretty fun.
It's a fun thing to do at night, when everyone's asleep
and nobody's watching. They can't hear either. That's the
good part. This disturbs nobody.

I began taking care of myself when it comes to hygiene and
such too. Lucci advised me on moisturizer for my hair
daily. That's suppose to help in many ways besides just
solving split ends and adding shine. I bought a new brush
and everything and my hair looks splendid. (I doubt I'll
need the brush anymore since she's perming my hair
tomorrow. ha.) Besides that I've gotten back to using that
leg moisutrizer which leaves my legs silky as well, and is
suppose to reduce the amount of times you shave, so we'll
see how it goes in a month from 2 days ago. That'll be
9/14/05. Lastly, also about 2 days ago I started
scrubbing my face. It felt so smooth I decided to stick
with it. I never had a problem with acne so I never
washed, but this might eliminate all break outs and black
heads in general, leaving me a little bit closer towards
perfection. I think appearance wise that's a good start.
Especially since it's fun and easy to get done.
Next I need to start walking early in the morning to open
up and welcome the world. Maybe eventually I'll start
jogging. That and get back to Yoga.

Reading I'm being okay about. Once in a while, like
yesterday I'll play video games till 3 a.m. and then start
reading, since I won't allow myslef rest until I do, but
might quit 1/2 way to goal like yesterday, so I've got
some catching up to do. I let yesterday go since I sprung
ahead on the other two books. Gonna get that done today,
no exceptions. Wow, I didn't realize but I'm really
getting back at it. And here I was scolding myself again
for not doing ALL the things I want to do.

Meditation is on the rise again, going at it atleast two
times a day, soon it will be whenever I get unfocused. I
need to fix my cd player or somehting though, because I
like, I need to take breaks for this sometimes, and not
just to eat, so it's either video games or music. All the
music on the radio is either very negative, or sexually
oriented. And people wonder why our society is going
downhill. One can't jam to love notes. I need some non-
negative, non-sex oriented music that I can groove to.
This "bad" music gets me unfocused and causes bad
daydreams. Negative daydreams, anyone have those? They
need to stop because they are putting me in a bad mood.

I have about a week until my fafsa things go through and I
can finally register, with a week of school left. Lucci
decided to take a guitar class. She said to join, so I
figure, you know, I had my guitar 4 and a half years
already, and I still don't know how to play, it's just 2
credit hours, fafsa's paying for it anyway, i get to see
my friend, and have another fun class, an ambitious class,
with a friends support in it. It's all good. So hopefully
I can still take that and the rest of my classes.

So to sum that up...
Improving on two major categories, hygiene, and ambitions.

Hygiene:
-hair
-legs
-face

Ambitions
-ASL
-meditation
-reading

Next on the self improvement agenda: Yoga, walks, eye Q,
and writing.

-Amnesia