Kalamity K

The Daily Chaos of Kalamity K
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2005-08-12 22:15:03 (UTC)

I Wish It Didn't Have To Be Like This

My boyfriend and I just can't seem to even fucking talk to
each other rationally for any length of time, not even two
minutes, any more. I can't stand it. We're circling,
we're talking on different planes, we're entrenched and get
stuck into each other for no apparent reason...

I feel so deflated.

I just want to cry.

I don't even know if it's worth it to sit here and explain
it all. It's such stupid shit and yet it feels like it's
destroying me.

All I wanted to do was take him up on his offer to come
down and meet me for dinner, such a rare occurrence that he
would come to meet me...and now it's "too late".

It's SIX O'CLOCK.

He was going to leave and come down at four.

Wow. What a difference two hours makes. Who knows how
late you are going to work and when we'll get home, he said.

I want to cry. Who cares, I want to cry at him. Who cares
when you do shit all all day? We are young! Who cares if
we get home late because we went, ooh, gasp, downtown for
dinner one night after a fucked up weird day on my end?
I'm sitting near downtown right now, in downtown,
actually. I just don't get it. I'M TWENTY-EIGHT YEARS
OLD. I'M TIRED OF LIVING LIKE I'M SIXTY!

[-sits down and just starts to cry...barely there tears but
the feeling in genuine-]

THIS JUST ISN'T RIGHT!

Fuck off. I have to get back to work. More later on this
fucked up situation.

K2


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