The First Tear
TEars: Good and Bad
Want some cocktail tips? Try some drinks recipes over here
Feelin' Down on Myself
Well, I"m really REALLY feeling down on myself. I"m not
pretty enough. I'm too fat. I'm not right. I dunno. Amanda
cut her hair and now she's like really pretty. Grayson(my
new roomie) is so fuckin' skinny and pretty that I can't
believe it. I'm just realizing how awful I look. How I"ve
always looked. I realize my friends think I'm a bitch, I'm
ugly, and my own boyfriend is tired of me. What have I done
to get to this point? Why have I changed so much? Why am I
a bitch? I don't think I am..I mean..I don't try to be. I
dunno. I'm horrid and ugly. My teath are yellow no matter
what I do...my acne is horrid..my boods are too damn big!
I"M FAT! Nothing is what I wish it was. Why can't I be
pretty? Why couldn't I have been one of the lucky ones? Why
did I get stuck with my life, my looks, and my everything?
Why? I know, I"m just having pity on myself but, dammit,
I'm really deppressed! I wish I could cut. Oh I wish! It
would make me feel better...yet worse. Another SCAR to add
to my collection! There's no way out!
Except.......no! I won't think that way. I can't. My life
is ahead of me. Or is it? Have the best times come and
gone. Everyone says your high school years are the best
years of your life. I hope not or my life will SUCK! If
so..what the point? What is the point? I don't see it.
I need to go and quit talking like this or I'm gonna go
slash my arms.