lost and alone

don't even bother.
2005-08-09 23:50:00 (UTC)

Lost in thought

Lost in thought i find myself alone. cradled by fear balled
up in pain. confused to what is real as visions of angels
dance through the rain. painless was my death unlike that
which was my life. in one brief second i knew peace and i
felt at ease. but as life slipped away i saw her face, she
called for me but it was far to late. don't waste your
prayers on the damned they can never be saved, i had my
chance but my life had been shamed. i have no excuse, no
reason to have failed, nothing but myself to blame. I lived
for those that cared to have me live for them, but now they
are all gone. occupied with their own future, to busy to
keep me sane. to blame them is to blame the rain, it is to
be expected and he who does not know this is a fool. I am
alone, i am that fool, nothing awaits me but death, he
cares for me he will harvest my soul. until then i sit and
wait, wait for the day death comes and takes me where i
belong, where i should have never left to begin with.
This is to death, and mysery as they are the only two i've
ever really known. They have treated me as one of their
own, a child lost scared and alone.
i had but one salvation, but she was an illusion, she
wasn't real. she held my heart tight and and just as i felt
joy she let go. now i wander once again through the desert
that is my mind, lost, confused and alone searching for
nothing as there is nothing left to find.
curse the day i was born and praise the day death arrives,
praise it in all it's glory for if a horse with a broken
leg deserves that fate a man with a broken heart definitly
deserves the same.
Once again i wait, i have waited for everything, even my
own demise. i'm tired of waiting and tired of losing, but
that is is the fate of the damned, locked alone in my head
waiting for death to bring the key... am i crazy? that, i
just might be. but when death comes... just wait... you'll
see...
i'll bet you wish you were just like me.




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