As I started writing in my last entry, lately I have not
been satisfied with Tommy. I finaly had to break tha wall
as it was eating me inside. And we had a talk. He agreed
that he have not been the perfect boy friend. He said the
would improve, we bouth should. I wonder how long it will
last this time.
There are two this about this issue that involve me in a
way I cant explain: 1. why did I get so obsessed with the
thought that I did not get a birthday pressant? I`ve been
thinking more and more about it, and at the end it was all
I could think of. I do have the monny to buy myself
something nice, its what it represents and means to me.
2. am I totaly shallow? who let the no birthday thing take
me more under than the not in love thing? I know its not
the person I used to be, but sometimes I take my self in
have become something else than I was, with out knowing it,
so I think Im something, just to realise Im something else,
and have been that for a while.
I dont like what I have become, and need to change that. So
that when I define myself, can be honest and liking it. Its
not my whole personality who need to change, just some
little things, back til the way it used to be, because I
liked it that way.