Completely Incomplete

Letting Go Is All I've Held Onto
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2005-08-06 21:54:37 (UTC)

Convulsions...

My stomache is twisting, wreathing about uncontrollably.

Over dosing? ... No. Stress ... I'm not quite sure.

Nik and I have been argueing about this, all night, and
all day. It's pretty much settled now ...

Traumatised ...

Something horrible happened, though I did not know what
was going on.

Of course I'm trying to pretend that nothing happened. Why
would I act like its okay?

But it's in the past. It's all over now.

I haven't gotten much sleep.

I'm covered in burns, blood, cuts, charcoal, bruises and
tears. Do I deserve this pain? Do I deserve everything
I've been put through? Why me?

That sounds arrogant. And selfish. But why me?
I try my best to do my share of good ...
I break hearts thats all Im good for, really.
This is my punishment.
For myself and others.

And I just found out Kade took five tylonal threes.
That's okay ... As long as he's alive.
As long as he's not hurting ...

I'm hurting ... Open wounds and the smell of ashes.

I haven't been on MSN much ...
I've been avoiding people.
Everyone as a matter of fact.
I'm sick of stupid questions ...
"What's wrong? Why can't you tell me?"
It's no one's business.
It's hardly mine.
I'll get over it.
Boo hoo, life goes on.
Everyone has their problems.
This is mine. This is all mine.
God I feel sick.

Look everyone.
I'm sorry I made you hurt! I'm sorry I didn't stop all of
this when I had the chance! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm
FUCKING SORRY!!


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