DayDream Believer
2005-08-06 20:27:27 (UTC)

Sweet kiss

I have been unsatisfied lately. Tommy have not exactly been
the sweetest boyfriend, its been going of for a while and
really breaking my heart. Espessialy when the whole family
spent three days painting my mother hous, cousins and all,
and Tommy did not come to help once! It was so embarrising
for me when everyone else keept asking me where he was and
why he was not helping. i Asked for three days if he please
would come and help, for me, but no. Then I took the buss
back to him, cause he would not even come and pick me up. I
can wear about anything at home, because Im just home. But
when I go to the city, at the mall or something I make sure
my clothes are verry nice. This day I had been paiting, and
a bit sick so I had no make up on, I wore nice jeans and a
brown new top, but a sports sweater over it becaus eit was
starting to get late and cold.
I was in a hurry, but made it into the buss, I had to
explain something to the bus driver, when I was finish I
looked up as I was walking into the buss. And there he was,
there was no dubt it was him, S*, my S*.
I was shocked and suprises, did not know what to do or
where to sit. So I just sat down, quite far from where he
was sitting next to a friend of him who was in my french
glass, but I dont know him well, only from S* that he knows
him, because this friend always skipped french.
So I sat down thinkig all kind of things. I was not sure he
had noticed me, and was hpoing I could escape this
situvation with out him noticing me at all, since I was
wearing a sports sweather, and I dont like to be see in
thouse. It was clean, whole and all right, but its notr my
public me.

I tok on some sunglasses so he would not notice my eyes
where not filled with make up, I tok on a lip gloss, but
verry discret. He was sitting some seats behind me, and I
would not make the impression that I was putting on make
up, the I tok on my long earrings, watch, and rings, and
off with the sweather, the I looked human. Not verry nice,
I can do better, but allright. We had to change the buss, I
was in the middle of the front, he at the beginning of the
back. It would be just as natural for me to go out of the
bus in the front, but I choosed to do it in the back. There
where no one else in the bus- at least not as I remember!
I went out at the same time thay did, I tryed to smile at
him, but they where to bussy to notice me. Then I walked in
to the next buss and sat down where it was a lot of free
seats, in the hope that thay would sit near me. They did,
oposite to me, I tryped to look at him as much as I could
with out staring.I thing it went all right, not once did we
have eye contact.
He was lookig great, better than ever. His face was nice,
he seemed to have lost some weight, his close where verry
nice. He was sitting in front of the back door, once it
opend and this wind came in, taking his smell over to me,
it smelled so great. It was heaven and hell at the same
time, thousand thoughs went trught me, when thay went off
the buss I tryed to sime at him, be friendly, mybe say hi.
But they did not look at me. Mybe he did not notice me, or
recognice me. I have seen lots of pictures of him, he have
none of me. And we have noot seen each other that much and
it was long time ago. Or he was pretending not to see me,
but thats not him. Beside if thay did, why sis opposite to
me when they could sit with more distance from me?

It was like a sweet kiss. It feelt like a sign, but I cant
make up my mind if its go for it, or see hes fine and
moving on. I LOVE lOVE lOVE him I realy do! But I will not
have a bublic realtionship with him, even if Tommy did not
existed, cause Im much taller then him. Im tall and he`s
small. Like Katie and Tom, and if it works for them its
nice, but its not for my world, well thats how shallow I am.


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