Master's bliss

Master's bliss
2005-08-06 15:42:23 (UTC)

At a crossroads

Dearest Master,

this slave is ashamed and embarrased for her behavior last
night. You and this slave were all set to have a wonderful
time T/together via the telephone, but this slave went and
messed everything up completely. You gave her very explicit
instructions that she was to follow, and You expressly told
her not to do anything more than follow those instructions.
this slave did everything as commanded, however, when she
called You back, You asked her if she had done anything that
You had not instructed. this slave answered no. Your next
question was to ask what this slave was wearing. At that
point, this slave knew she had screwed up royally. When she
had spoken with You earlier, and You gave her instructions,
You had asked then what she was wearing. she had been
wearing a t-shirt and underpanties and nothing else. While
she had been preparing for her return call to You, without
thinking, she took off her t-shirt and put on a purple satin
nightie. When You asked her again what she was wearing,
this slave admitted that she had, indeed, changed out of her
t-shirt. You were understandably livid. this slave had
thoughtlessly violated Your instructions and consequently
screwed up all Your plans for the evening. You were so
angry at her disobedience, that You could not stay on the
phone with this slave. You hung up, and this slave
tearfully waited for You to call back, still holding out
hope that W/we would still have time T/together. When You
did call back, Your anger had not subsided. You lamented
the fact that the distance between U/us prevented You from
being able to punish this slave properly, in order for
things to be reset. You explained to this slave that Your
plans for the night had included having me undress in a
prescribed way, for Your pleasure. this slave had taken
away that pleasure from You, and You did not know how to get
it back. this slave was crying and tearfully begging You
for another chance, but the moment was gone for You. The
longer W/we talked, and the more You expressed Your
displeasure, the more this slave understood that she had
fouled things up beyond repair for last night. You ended up
hanging up and telling this slave that You needed to relax
for a few minutes, as You were exhausted from Your anger.
You did call back, but expressed to this slave that the only
thing W/we could do was to get some rest. this slave's last
hope was gone and O/our time T/together was not going to
happen. this slave hung up the phone, tears streaming down
her face, grabbed a pillow and held it close to her. she
sobbed into the pillow, so no one would hear, and continued
to cry until she began to drift off. The phone did ring one
more time, and it was You. You told this slave that You
loved her, but she needed to get to sleep so she could get
up and take care of things around the house today. W/we
hung up the phone and this slave fell into a deep, dreamless
sleep, and did not move until she heard the alarm go off at
9 AM.

this slave has lots of work to do today. she needs to see
if she can fix the dryer, plus You gave her detailed
instructions as to how You want the house when You return.
this slave knows she best get to those chores, because any
failure on her part will result in a completely failed
weekend. this slave can't handle that.

You have stricken fear into the heart of this slave. You
pointed out that it is O/our desire to live in a 24/7
Master/slave relationship that results in Your anger at this
slave's tiniest mistake. You understand that this slave is
human, and that she will make mistakes. W/we are all human,
and even Master's make mistakes. the problem is, that as a
slave, this slave's mistakes, no matter how minute they may
be, must be addressed and punishment dispensed. That is the
way this slave wants to live, and she knows that You do too.
The problem is, this slave makes too many tiny little
mistakes, and You are getting tired of having to deal with
them. You love this slave, and You truly want her to be
Your slave. this slave truly wants to be Your slave. You
are getting to the point where You are wanted to give up the
24/7 lifestyle, because You can't stand to see this slave
continuously crying, begging forgiveness and telling You how
sorry she is. this slave understands how You feel, and she
must admit that there are times when she has felt the very
same way. she can't stand causing You anger because of tiny
infractions she has made that, if W/we were not trying to
live in this lifestyle, would not mean anything and most
likely would not even get mentioned. this slave hates
disappointing You.

It seems that You and this slave stand at a crossroads. Has
this slave pushed You past the breaking point to where You
can no longer deal with being a full time Master? You asked
this slave last night if she wants O/our lifestyle to be
real or just play. this slave wants it to be real. she
understands the rigidity of rules that real life entails.
she could easily tell You that she just wants it to be play.
Then she could be free to live a "normal" life as a wife
and mother, and W/we would still play with O/our toys during
sex. That is how W/we used to live, and this slave was
happy in her life. So, why would this slave want things to
change, so that her every little error caused anger and pain
and distance between U/us. It's because she has always
dreamed and fantasized about being Your slave. she wants to
become a better and more obedient slave. she wants to serve
You as a slave at all times. she wants to feel Your control
over her, even from across thousands of miles. she wants to
wake up in the morning with Your collar around her neck.
she wants to follow Your instructions on how to dress, when
to use the bathroom, how to wear her hair, when to shave her
legs, when to trim her pubic hair. she wants to know that
at any time You could call her with instructions, or anytime
You could call her from another room, fall on her knees and
suck Your penis till You orgasm. she wants everything that
being a slave entails, and she understands that will include
Your anger when she falls short. she desperately wants to
be Your slave.

this slave will do as You have instructed today, and it will
be a very busy day. this slave loves You, and she wants to
be owned by You. The bottom line is that the decision is
Yours. this slave has no control over how long O/our
Master/slave relationship will continue. You could come
home tonight and tell her that it's over, and she would have
to accept it. she is committed to You and to O/our life, as
it stands, but first and formost, she is committed to You by
love and marriage, and that will never change.

Your loving, loyal, and devoted slave-pet,

bliss




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