Living on love
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2005-08-01 18:38:12 (UTC)

Wanting out......

So, everything is happening to the extreme...including
feeling sick of love.... All of it; dizziness, trembling,
crying, dispair, jealousy, wanting to run away and never
come back....

I can have it all (I should say almost), for I know what
life and love is all about. One thing I'm sure of is our
love and living for loving.

I live for you and all that matters is you....knowing I'm
not the only one you need in your life is as much of your
truth as it is mine. For your happiness is mine too...
I've asked myself numerous times if I'm not fooling myself
by doing this, by living and loving the way I do....can I
deal with it, can I take it and still love with my all?

Yes I can, yes I can....there is one little thing that I
will not be able to hear and/or see you with the
other... I've heard it once and it shook my entire being,
I saw it today (by mistake) and I'm a walking death... I'm
lost, I'm totally lost and I'm nowhere to be found....

I don't doubt that you love me.....I never will...I know
you do with your entire being....

How do I erase the vision of her face while you touch her,
how do I erase the tone in your voices while you're
talking ....same looks, sounds, words and touches you
share with me...the very same that make me feel special,
that make me feel me....same goes for her....the very

And I'm nowhere near....there is the biggest of distance
between our looks, smiles, touches and words....she is
just a call away and she does get it all (everything I'm
so very much longing for)....and today I saw.....

I don't doubt your love, I never is your
reality, it is my truth....who do I want to fool
anyway....all that matters is your happiness....

Still, if only I don't know what.....I just want my heart
to be taken care of today, tomorrow and ever after....but
I'm on my own.....I only have you.....

I don't know....all I know is that I love with my all and
that I'd rather not exist at this very moment....please
take it away....take me away....

Can I? I wonder.........