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2005-07-31 21:12:40 (UTC)

Is this mine?

So I totally forgot I had this journal thing until just
recently when I got a reminder via email. I've had this
for what seems like forever.
Anyway, These past couple weeks have totally sucked. I
have been sick and exhausted. I have changed to 3rd shift
and it's killing me. But sleeping isnt really my only
problem.. I have been getting dizzy and weak at random
times. I have to go to the doctors and get tested for
diabetes. Not looking forward to that...but it has to be
done I guess. I've been trying to tell everyone I an fine,
but it doesnt seem like I am doing a good job convincing
them. Some day I will get better.
I feel like all the important people in my life going
away. I shouldnt say ALL because there are a few who have
been here for me everytime I need them. It just seems like
my life is headed in a direction that my friends are not.
Switching shifts, tring to start college, getting ready to
move out of this apartment, I have totally change
everything about my life. And now to make it more
interesting... I have been single for almost 7's starting to bother me. But then again, I am
not doing a very good job at looking for someone. I thnk
it is because I have other priorities. But there are times
when I dont care about those priorities and I just want to
be held, I just want someone I can vent to. I dont know
anymore. I'm trying to keep my head above water, why am I
think ing about keeping other people happy?
I dont know why I am bitching. Heather is sitting at home
in pain because of her eye, and I am here complaining
about getting dizzing. Goddamn it I am so selfish! I want
to help her, but there isnt much I can do.
So today is the last day in July. Misty should be leaving
for Ohio tomorrow. I never got to say goodbye to her. She
doesnt want to see or hear from me again.I am going to
miss her. Its hard to say goodbye to 3 years of your life.
Especially when they were a great 3 years. Good luck to
you Misty. I will be here for you.
Anyway, Ive gotta go now. enough ranting for one day.