Katie

Use Your Turn Signal
2005-07-29 07:05:55 (UTC)

frustration at every turn

i don't think i can do this courtship thing when the only
thing i seem to do is to embarass myself horribly. why is
it that i let guys with major baggage take over my
thoughts? why is it that i don't make a peep when i let
someone flirt shamelessly with me and then watch him go
through the same motions with his ex? because i'm a fucking
fool. i deserve better- fuck, i deserve better. but where
the hell is better? and why is that nobody else seems to
think i deserve it?
i'm ready now, for the opportunity to treat somebody well.
at least, i WAS ready. but fuck it. damn every single piece
of that notion to hell. maybe you like being unhappy? maybe
you get off on being a jerk? just don't touch me anymore,
and you can go feed on someone else instead.
God, i'm embarassed though. and tired of putting myself out
there. i liked you! well, i like you. and i was pretty damn
sure that..... ah, fuck, nevermind. goes to show how
worthless my thoughts have become. makes me wonder what
else i'm wrong about. Jesus, i need to get out of here.




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