Hollow Years
Ad 2:
2005-07-25 22:32:21 (UTC)

Right now it hurts too much to be closer than this

Went to leigh to get emmas inme ticket cba explaining the
whole day but i ended up wanting to cry because everything
was just getting to me and seeing simon just brought alot
of things back. i hated it i still feel a bit iffy now
about it all i dont know why im like this it really felt
like being finished all over again for some reason i
shouldnt be like this i hate it :(.

Anyway after that i went home being all miserable and then
went on here thinking i was about to go to bed but then me
and B.S.D decided to go for a walk while we were both
bored and i was a bit upset. sooo we went to the cemetery
and taked it really did help we talked about stupid stuff
then we talked about realtionships and stuff lol hmm then
his g/f rang and then it all went stupid because she
started to accuse him of cheating on her and he had to go
home and sort it out and then she said he wasnt allowed to
see me or be my friend and he said that he needs me
because its lonely round here and she was like he needs
you not me you have ruined our relationship and all that
and she wanted him to choose between us and it was will
really silleh as we are only friends so anyway he said he
is going to carry on being my friend and that he wants me
to meet his friends in standish. Well anyway the first bit
cheered me up and i started feeling better after that.

Then later on i went to andru's with emma helen and sam.

Tomorrow i am going trying my bridesmaid dress on then
going to manchester with andru then going to chicago rock
hopefully emma will come.

I feel a bit low again so i might go and just sleep and
read my book because im shattered from getting up at nine
this morning. i wish i wasnt like this..i was telling
simon about katie and all that and he said that i dont
need them both if they are giving me stress i said i like
it because he listens to me when i moan and he said i
listen you know i do and i said well some stuff you
wouldnt want to know about (i mean like how i miss him
sometimes) and that he has his own life he doesnt need me
moaning about mine and he said dont be silleh moan all you
want i will try and be helpful. but i dont know i wish i
could just feel friendship for him but i cant and it
really hurts me i was talking to dan about it and he said
i really need to get over him and i do and i really want
to im just finding it so hard.anyway im not going to start
going on about all that...

Song: walking with a ghost - tegan and sara
Mood: messed up

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