Autum's Leaves
2005-07-25 18:13:08 (UTC)

Time to be a Hero

Sitting here, watching Braveheart for the millionth
time, I wondered about hero's. If there really are any, if
they exist at all. Every man's hero is another man's
murderer, every man's savior is another man's tyrant. What
really makes a hero? Putting others before yourself?
Living a life of selflessness?

To me, that's what a hero is. To live like you were
dieing, to be honest in everything, to live with honor and
pride and most of all, to live for the sake of others.

X2 IMed me today, and a couple of days ago, asking me
if I still hated him, that he's busted his lip and can't
kiss anyone, but that's okay because he has no one to
kiss. He makes me feel so guilty that I was upset with
him, like I'm such an awful person because I was upset
that he cheated one me.

It's so hard not to blow up in his face, to say these
cruel heartless remarks...just to hurt him like he's hurt
me. So, I try not to say anything, I try to laugh and
pretend like it dosen't hurt when he talks to me. I see my
boarder whenever I can, and my friends, but it's still
difficult to talk to him.

I wonder sometimes, how a true hero, a samurai, a noble
savage would handle betrayal, a broken heart. I think that
if they could say anything about it, they'd say "Our
hearts will break, but we live to die."

Somedays, it's just hard to be a hero.