Autum's Leaves
2005-07-21 21:28:20 (UTC)

Hide And Seek

When I was younger, we'd play Hide and seek tag
everyday at school. I was always one of the guys, they'd
tell me how they liked all the pretty girls that didn't
play tag with them. Then, one day, I read a scary story
about it. The children that played it would scream out,
Olly Olly Oxen Free, and to this day, if I ever hear that
I get goosebumps. It's funny how things like that stay
with you as you get older.

When I was younger I lied about everything, I always
wanted attention. My parents split up and life wasn't very
pleasant for me when I was younger. I grew up fast and
didn't have much of a childhood.

He cheated on me. He told me today. It almost killed
me. Nothing like that has ever happened before...I talked
to my best friend about it, she's really helped. She
really knows what I need to hear. Plus, all my guys that
I've kept in contact with are really being great about it,
I guess it's nice to hear things like, "what a dick" "he
just didn't know what he had" from other guys. It's just a
supporting thing. It's nice to know that people are there
for me, even though the one person that I wish was, isn't.
He told me he needed attention, which really hurt me,
saying that, when I get in a relationship, I give
everything. The reason my ex broke up with me is because I
was with him too much, that I always wanted to be with
him, I always missed him, I could never get enough of him.
That's what the guy said he wanted...but he never gave me
a chance to give that to him.

I suppose it's just my luck, fall in love and they
leave. Haha, life always has such wonderful irony, such a
painful humor.

The only thing I know is that I'll be fine. I always
will be. I will succeed in everything I do, no one will
ever hold me down from being happy and getting on with my
life and enjoying it to the fullest. If there's someone
out there that dosen't take advantage of what I have to
offer, then it's not my problem. There will always be
someone else, and I'm too young to be worrying about
commitment, and I'm too old to be dealing with this

The two things someone could do to automatically lose
me are to cheat or physically hurt me. HE did one of
those, and mentally hurt, I've told him goodbye.
I'm staying with him for a night, to get to say goodbye
and everything...I just want to still be a good
person...but it's really hard.