Completely Incomplete

Letting Go Is All I've Held Onto
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2005-07-21 19:49:43 (UTC)

To Blame

Kade broke his arm the night before last. He was stoned on
an OD of advil, sleeping pills, and prozac.

This is all my fault. I'm the one who told him to OD on
prozac ... I'm the one who didn't stop him from going
out ... It's my fault.
This is Josh and Kevin all over again.

Josh is dead because of me. Josh wanted to "catch up"
because I had been spending so much time with Kevin. And
Kevin suggested a car ride. And then they crashed. If I
hadn't been so selfish, and just let Kevin go with anyone,
it wouldn't have happened.

I've gotten someone killed. Someone put in the hospital.
Someone a broke arm. What next? Am I going to cause
multiple deaths?? Am I going to put a thousand people in
the hospital??

I'm a hazard to myself and others. Kade ... Nik ...
Kevin ... Ravon ... get away while you still have your