Completely Incomplete

Letting Go Is All I've Held Onto
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2005-07-16 17:24:29 (UTC)

Contridicted Again ...

Last night I was ready. We had actually planned it ...

Mine and Kade's soulful demise. Together in eternity. As I
drifted to sleep, I confirmed it. I declared to myself
this was going to happen.

I dreamed that night ... last night.
About Nik. Oh, dear Nik ... why is he the one my burdens
are placed upon?
I wish I could take it all away ...

The dream had no moral to it. It was just as ... fucking
around. Not in a sexual manner, just joking ...
laughing ... talking. Just mindless stuff that we always
seem to do anyways, but this time ... he was here.

I woke up ... contridicted.

Kade says I should forget everything for a while ... but I
don't think I can.

Andy is throwing a party tonight.
I really really really don't want to go.
I don't like the idea of a public gathering ... I want to
be alone ... with Nik ... and Kade ...

If I don't go Ill be letting Ravon down ... but I really
honest to god ... dont want to go -.-