FloydianSlip

Going Postal
2005-07-13 18:05:13 (UTC)

Back out on the highway

Dad and I were having a discussion about Boston this
morning before school. We both agree that Smokin' is their
undefeated best song they ever made though personally More
Than A Feeling is my favorite song by them.

It's that weekend again. Aunt Treva came down last weekend
to have Christmas in July and I guess she's going to be
staying all week. Everyone's pretty pissed off about that
since she gave nobody any warning that she wanted to do a
little Christmas thing except for the day before. I can
totally sympathize with her being so old and not wanting to
come down over the Christmas months but geesh...give some
people some notice!

I guess it's stirred up a bunch of shit in the family again
and now everyone is pissed off at everyone else again.
What else is new? I guess dad got so pissed all at all the
shit that was going down that he said that at the moment if
he saw a Hodge that he was going to shoot them on
sight...and if the jury knew any of the Hodges that nobody
would convict him. He's right about that!

My summer class sucks, but it's not too hard as of yet.
The only thing that's challenging is trying to get
everything done before I go to bed so that I can get some
good rest and not have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn
to do homework. Hopefully it *will* be this easy all the
way through as far as the real actual work goes. Cross my
fingers...

The drive to Terre Haute hasn't been too bad either. I
haven't really started to drag yet where each minute feels
like days but I'm sure it's coming as I get more and more
sleep deprived. The drive is rather theraputic in terms of
having time to myself and getting away from everything for
a while. I just wish I had more time to spend with my
baby. It's summer...I shouldn't have to be in school mode!

My birthday came and went as it does once a year. I don't
really feel any older which is probably a good thing. I
got some really cool gifts...Jeremy got me an rc car that
looks just like dad's truck, a book on serial killers, and
I got a present from mom, dad, and The Duke which was a dvd
player. I'm just tickled to death that somebody remembered
it. :)

The rc truck can do a lot more than the car that Jeremy got
me for our first christmas. I took it to school to show
Dessie and drove it across campus for fun...it's mostly
deserted anyway. It seems to go offroad well as well as go
down stairs without too much trouble.

One of the things I've learned over the course of my
relationship with Jeremy is that his family is not on the
same time schedule as everyone else. It's kind of like
college students thinking that early classes are ones that
start at noon. "Can I see you for a minute" usually
translates to at least 15 minutes for up to several hours.
And "this won't take long" is always a lie.

I went over to Jeremy's house to celebrate my birthday last
night. Afterall he was the only person I really cared
about seeing on my birthday. Mom has been asking me for a
week now what my plans were and I didn't really have
any...I was just playing it by ear basically. I really
wanted to go to the drive-in and see a movie, but it was
going to rain (as per usual when I want to go to the drive-
in) and it's supposed to rain for the next few days. I had
told mom a couple of other ideas that I had but they didn't
work out.

My parents called while I was over at Jeremy's to tell me I
missed Debbie and Ancil dropping by to say hi and wish me a
happy birthday. They wanted to know what me and Jeremy
were up to...I had to tell them nothing much and didn't
know what we were going to be doing because his sister had
said "Come here for a minute" and he wandered off for over
an hour.

After a ridiculous amount of time reading my new book,
looking at my courses online, doing research for my courses
online, and then finally getting bored I decided to go in
and see what Jeremy was up to. I thought about just
leaving and leaving a note saying "it's not like you
noticed I was here anyway" but that would have been rather
shitty of me and I wouldn't want someone doing that to me
so I didn't. I was kind of miffed that he couldn't tell
his family ok I've done what you asked and it's Nessa's
birthday so I'm going to go spend time with her...bye. And
if they wanted to bitch at somebody for it they could bitch
among themselves or to themselves.

I stood beside Jeremy for about 15 minutes or so listening
to the conversation they were having and having no real
input on it since I didn't really know what they were
talking about. I was just happy to be with the love of my
life. I thought it was rather interesting though that
nobody said hi to me or asked how I was doing or what I had
been up to or acknowledged the fact that I was in the
room.

His family wanted to go to dinner and as always they asked
Jeremy specifically if he wanted to go but said nothing to
me. I thought about interjecting "Yeah Jeremy you
go...I'll stay here and watch tv or something and wait for
you to get back since they didn't invite me" but I know
that would have been retorted with "But you never want to
go anyway" ...Which doesn't excuse the fact that it's
polite to ask anyway. But as they were so talkative with
me while I was there I couldn't really see them wanting me
to go anyway so I dropped it...no sense starting something
when it's just a temporary thing that'll pass in 2
minutes. It's just one of those things that makes you feel
invisible when they're like "Hey Lena...want to go? Hey
Jeremy...want to go?" I'm a person too and deserve to be
treated like one. ...And it's not like I'm in another
room...I'm standing right next to Jeremy when they say it 9
times out of 10.

I think it's cute that Jeremy explains when his family
doesn't talk to me by saying that they're having a bad day
or not feeling well. They seemed to be feeling just fine
last night and seemed to be quite talkative...but not to
me. I guess I just make them sick? I don't know...trying
to explain that one away is a bit tough.

Mom wasn't too happy with his family keeping him so long.
I came home and she was all kinds of bitchy about that -
more so than I ever was. I got over that in two minutes
after I was in his arms again. She asked me why I even
bother going over there and I said it was because I love
spending time with Jeremy and she said something about if
he loved me, truly loved me, then he'd meet me somewhere or
come over here to avoid shit like that happening...or he'd
just tell his family straight up that we have plans and
leave...end of discussion end of argument. I think she's
going a bit overboard with that, but it would be nice if he
would stand up for himself and for me more. I don't like
it when they disrespect him and I certainly don't like it
when they disrespect me...but I have no cause to complain.
Nothing major has happened in a while which is a good
thing.

I think the reason she got so bitchy was because I made the
mistake of wishful thinking. As Becker would say don't
have expectations and you won't get disappointed. When she
asked what our plans were I told her that we didn't really
have any as of yet, but we could do this...or it would be
nice if we could do this...or I'd be happy with this...
But just being with him is more than good enough...That's
all I really wanted anyway. I didn't really have any plans
or something that we just *had* to do but I still had a
wonderful and happy birthday even though we didn't do any
of the things that crossed my mind a few times.




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