Thoughts in Green
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2005-07-10 04:29:32 (UTC)

so much for a best friend

So it was bound to happen and it finally did!

My supposed best friend is effecting my relationship with
my new boyfriend and I'm pretty sure it's just to seeif he

To see if he has the power to still control me in that way
and if he does then he gets me allto himself. To take care
of him just like I always have.... sounds sick I know.

Even the new lover tells me so and I really can;t argue
cause I know that it partially is true but there is more to
the story then people see. Not that this is any excuse for
how "Will" behaves or how he treats the new lover.

The new boyfriend who will be refered to as "J" in this
Diary had a nice deep discussion with me yesterday... oh
did I mention I was having a really good day cause I
graduated from bartending school with a B! Thats right kids
I will be serving drinks in a bar near you very soon! -
anyways back to the story!.... Yea so he decides to tell me
that he was considering taking a break, so that I could
deal with my best friend issues.

This is due to "Will' behaving like "J" does not exist!
That is totally now cool and I can't argue that to anyone
cause I know how he is treating him is just fucked up.
Also "J" told me that he loved me for the first time on the
4th of July a day before our 2nd month aniversary and I
have to say it was nice to hear.

I really dig this guy and might be falling for him myself
but my best friend can;t get over himself long enought to
see that there are other people's feelings involved here as
well. If only he could see that "J" is an amazing guy who
treats me increadible well and is a lof of what I am
looking for in a guy, That's what I thought deep down
really mattered but apparently my best friend is more
shallow then I new.

He thinks that "J" is not suitable for me because he does
not feel that he is attractive enough for me. He is not a
bad looking guy and he is concerned with how he looks. He
is thinning a little on top and he has some old acne scars
but no acne and the scars and really not as bad as you
might think.

Well to say the least this has left me with little choice
on how to act. I just have to ride it out as usual and hope
that "Will" comes around eventually - GOD [email protected]

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