Completely Incomplete

Letting Go Is All I've Held Onto
2005-07-09 00:54:45 (UTC)

Baracade of a bloody wall ...

Hmm here I stand. Popping pills behind a baracade of a
bloody wall. How I long for the tender sweep of the blade
to swiftly stroke across my skin ... But I must wait for
Kade is gone for about a weak getting his computer checked
and such.
I dare not bleed without him. I promissed. I will not ...
I cannot feel the knife until he his here again.
Day one and already I long for him more then the blade.
Sounds pathetic? Maybe.
I am needy and careless. I need back my one and only guide
of my life. Of this life ... The life I lead.
It's become like a boring yet fascinating novel really.
Filled with trauma, heartbreak, over welming love, care,
romance, poetry, sickness, stereo typing, anger, out let,
humour, darkness, light, ect.
I wonder what the new therapist will be like. This one is
a definate proffesional. Out side of school.
If he once says "I understand" I will not retreat, but I
will act as if he were someone I met on the net, and show
him my veiws.
I am determind to make this one work.

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