Go Veg

The Road to Vegetaria
2005-07-07 13:42:04 (UTC)

Running from the law

Thursday July 7 2005
9:16am EDT

Um. Yeah.

So yesterday was boring at work. When my boss left to go
upstairs around 2:30 or so I took off to go to DMV. Stupid
me. Stupid, stupid me. I was driving up 684, going the
accepted 80 mph in the left lane, when a state trooper
flies up behind me. I quickly get into the middle lane and
he passes me. Phew!

So I get back into the left lane and once again speed up to
like, 80. Cop is still up there a bit, with other cars
moving into the middle lane to let him pass. I keep
cruising at 80….

After a few minutes cop pulls off to the side. I pass him.
He pulls back onto the highway. I move into the middle
lane. He pulls up right behind me and the lights come on.
Damn.

I pull over, he comes over to my passenger side
window. “License & registration!” he barks. I fumble around
for my license… fumble, fumble fumble.. cannot find my
wallet. More awkward fumbling as he tells me he’s pulling
me over for speeding, shows me the radar gun he used to
clock me as I was behind him, gives me tips like not to
speed after a cop passes you when you’re speeding. Duh. I
cannot find my wallet. He spies my registration in my bag,
I didn’t even know it was in there. Mention I’m going to
DMV to renew my registration (it expires today) and he
comments about how did I think I was going to go to DMV
without my license. He gives me some lecture about not
speeding when he’d basically given me a free pass. Duh. He
let me go, though. I cried a little at the end of his
lecture. I felt SO STUPID. So freaking stupid.

And then as I drove home I wondered where the hell my
wallet was. I’d taken my debit card out of my wallet to buy
something online the night before, and I remember taking my
card back downstairs and putting it into my purse when I
was finished. I got home, looked down where my bag usually
goes in case it fell out, nothing. It wasn’t in my car.
Could it have fallen out of my bag at my desk?? I drove ALL
THE WAY back to work, it was not at my desk. Came back home
(and extra hour of driving, nice), tried calling Jon for
like, an hour but he never picked up. Made a burrito.
Finally got through to Jon. “Have you seen my wallet at
all?” pause. “Uuum… next to the computer upstairs…” I ran
upstairs. There’s my wallet. Next to the computer. Where I
left it last night and didn’t look for it again. D’oh! Oh,
and he also told me on the phone that his brother would be
staying with us for “a few days” when he got back from
Europe on July 20. Ugh. See, this guy sold all his
properties, his car, everything. He has no job now. He was
in Europe for a few months. I don’t think he and his
girlfriend are even together anymore. The one he was going
to propose to. So… “a few days” is pretty scary to me. How
long is he going to stay with us? Til he gets a job? Til he
finds a place to live? That freaked me out, and I started
to cry a little bit on the phone with Jon, but I said it
was ok.

I had a nice chat session with this girl I met on the
social anxiety bulletin board, and who I’ve been emailing
for a few months, Cindy. She’s kinda young (23 maybe?),
lives in Queens, and just started a new program to be a
physician’s assistant. She hates it and wants to drop out
to backpack through Europe. She keeps asking me if I’ll go
with her. WTF. She complained about school the whole time
we were chatting. I kept telling her to just stick out this
summer semester and then see how her grades are. Ugh. I
told her I had to go after Jon got home.

He was kinda distant once he got home. He got on the phone
with his brother in Austin, and when it was 9pm, I just
went upstairs to read. Around 9:30 or so I popped my head
out because I really wanted him to come upstairs so we
could spend some time together. He came up at a commercial.
We started talking about his brother again, and he got
pretty defensive, like he usually does when I get upset
about something because of him. I guess he felt like he
couldn’t even have his own brother come stay with us or
something, and I told him that I feel like I can’t express
to him when something stresses me out because he gets
defensive. I told him I felt like he didn’t understand me
at all. He asked me to explain. I told him that when people
stay over, I get scared, and I hole myself up in our
bedroom. I told him that if someone was staying over during
the week, I would not be coming home from work without him,
because I’m too scared to be alone in my own house with
someone else. I cried, a lot. He held me, apologized for
forgetting that I get scared. I kept crying. He said he’d
do everything he could to make it easier on me, he’d make
sure to get out of work on time, etc. We laid together for
a long time. Finally at 10:30 or so he left to go back
downstairs and I tried to sleep. It was difficult, my nose
was all stuffy from crying. Ugh.

Got up today, all cloudy outside, bombings in London. Nice.
So I REALLY need to go to DMV today. My boss just left for
a meeting, but it’s only 9:30, I feel like it would be
ridiculous for me to drive all the way up to the DMV I’m
familiar with (45 minutes north). If I absolutely have to,
I can go to the one near my office, it’s open til 6pm
tonight. I’d rather go up north since I’ve been there
before, but we’ll see.

Oh, we got 2 more “regrets” RSVP cards last night. 2 of
Jon’s family friends. W00T!! So far, I think we’re at 10
regrets and 7 accepts. Sweet.




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