Rico

My Gay Misadventures
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2005-07-06 22:47:36 (UTC)

Just Nothing

I need to write more.

I really hate it when i say i'll do things, and never do it.
like update this diary. Lately iv been goin through a few
nights of cresent moons and fadeing stars, but havnt
bothered expressing it. And now its all snowballed. (which
im sure i'll cliffnote)

Mat-Jason-Ric-Roy

Those are the only people other then my housemates, iv made
contact with. Each one gives me something. Most are in vain.

Mat: I always draw blanks when it comes with Mat. I never
know what to type. So much. -- I dont know what we are.

Jason: A good chap. A good source. My true reasons behind
visting Jason are to aquire the reefer. I dont want a sexual
relationship with jason. I dont want anything other than
platonic. However if things were that easy, i'd be the
goddamn president by now. Problem is, Jason adores me. (i
can see that cursed sparkle) AND he smokes all my weed. That
dime bag never made it home...I smoke every 4 hours it seems
when im with Jason. Im a pothead, but not that bad. I dont
like feelin stupid. I dont like any of his friends. I dont
like the way i feel when im with him for a long period of
time...

Ric: Ric lives next door. But we honestly dont talk much. he
has a nice body. face. but lacks conversation. or at least
we dont click is all. we masterbated together. end of story.

Roy: He's sweet. but iv decided im just not attracted to him
sexually. (which wouldnt make up for all the ingredients for
a relationship) He jokes about getting married. all that
jazz. but i think everyone has someone like Roy. its been
awile since we've done anything in the dark. but he finds
content in just hangin out

I was hopeing after typing for awile i'd come up with what
to type about Mat...I like him. I like talking about
nothing, because to me, its about everything. i like to
'linger' in his car. Sitting at home and watching movies
we've already seen a million times. Whale watchin in the
pool. tag teaming a car wash....Just Nothing.

I really should type how im doin. But my ass hurts. and
Dorien is proving more then distracting. le mew.


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