Eugene

Date With Destiny
2005-07-03 18:22:15 (UTC)

What it is like to start over- smoking

an answer turned ramble (warning long)
From ropingjo on 2/21/2004 11:54:50 AM

In answer to a question about what it's like to start
over......
(BTW thanks for asking Phil)

Thankfully, I am finding retracing the steps so much
easier, the "Oh Crap" moment of WHAT IN THE WORLD am I
doing, hit and I have had plenty of practice at losing
quits over the last 20 years, but NEVER had I had the
pleasure of knowing just how sweet it is to not be a
smoker.

Those 412 absolutely not not puff days didn't do much for
my waistline, but they did wonders for the, "I don't have
to, and I really don't want to, I'm not enjoying this and
watch out sucker you are back in that rip tide that will
suck you back into where you were for all those years"
When I couldn't keep a quit for any lenght of time at all.
Some quits were measured in pounds of weight, some in
hours and some in days and one or tow made it to weeks.
Some used gum, some used patches, try the hypnotist
(lasted maybe till the check cleared) some used several
tatics....found the Q in 2000 I think, that was the start
of the real foundation for me. Getting involved with real
people with real problems much worse than my own and
watching thier quits grow and their mountains climbed and
their milestones marked, the seeds of a real "quit" were
planted and started to take root. I thought July 2002 was
for me, that was the most suckceaseful and stressful but
happy time I think I ever had. The "addiction was changing
from cigs to the Q, I had long term goals and it was
happening for me. Alas it went SLPAT also
****sighhhhhhhh*****

I tucked my tail a while, admitted I was just another
freaking addict, I wasn't magically losing any significant
amount of weight, I didn't like smoking in a closet, I
couldn't lie if anyone (God forbid they all forget that
you are fighting the f---ing demon every day, smoking or
not, "they",being people in your everyday life that have
no idea what it is to be smart enough to know better, but
addicted enough to not be able to stop)

Anyway, I think BG was a major inspiration to me because
of the way he tracked his slip and slide approach to
quitting, never judged anyone else and made his own music
and looked positively on every cig he didn't smoke, no
matter how many "interupptions" there were inbetween last
ones. I wish his profile would have stayed, I only
remember as hitting me the right way at the right time for
the right reasons. So I sucked it up again and popped
for "patches and premium membership for 3 months instead
of breaking down and buying a carton on Sept. 23, 2002,
and then others started cheering me on and I found the
clubs and everything fell into place. Q-sters like Gunka,
The Gael, leejay, Val, Philsy, Melder, Mutiny Michael,
Troutnut and reposts form OMG all so many of the q-angels,
I am sorry way too many to mention so I'm sorry I started
cause I have to leave people out, I'd say every thread
read, profile share, flamewars included added to my quit
blanket. It wasn't easy, but every day it got to be more
and on the gadget and more into my very soul, I LOVE NOT
SMOKING, I REALLY REALLY REALLY DO. I wish so hard that
the others floundering around trying to get quit could
find that one special something to elevate them away from
the jail thev'e enclosed themselves in. There is a key for
everyone, just not everyone wants to use the key I think.
I know my Mom wanted to, my Dad had the chance to, my
sister knows where it is, but isn't ready to leave it yet.
sighhhh I'm sorry I've gone on and on

What's it like???

It's like riding a bike, both ways, smoking or not
smoking, you never forget how.

But it hurts when you fall off the non-smoking bike, and
the smoking bike hurts when you ride it.

:-) are you sorry you asked???? I thank God for the people
in my life that did bother to ask how my quit was going
after I fell off the non smoking bike and was gaining
speed on the smoking bike, it jerked me back to where I
want to be.

That's my story as recalled on this 65th day of pure
Freedom.

My thanks for your asking and my thanks for all of you
here at the "Q", you've all had a part of making this
happen for me anyway.

Sincerely, RopingJoAnn almost ready for her barcalounger
back.

PS (I used to think all the fluff and lodges and
milestones and pledges and games and makebelieve was a
bunch of hooey, well I don't anymore. Different strokes
for differnt folks, but the folk that smoke are more
likely to have strokes.)