Mark Gittner

Gay Guy juggles his life struggles.
2005-07-02 04:59:39 (UTC)

Journey to the past... looking to the future

Well, last month was a dramatic challenge. Yours truly
pushed one roomie out the door for another suicide
attempt, kicked the other two out for thier and my own
good, only to have them leave earlier than anticipated,
and me high and dry with my finances.

Car issues that same week left my savings drained, and my
bills just slightly beginning to fall behind again.

I have however decided to go it alone, and attempt to
recover my life from the depths to which I have let it
fall once AGAIN. No more roomies, no more children to
guide and protect, and to let walk all over me.

I will make it.

I have looked into my past lately, to examine the steps I
took to today. My birthday is just a few days away, and
now is as good a time as any to delve into history and
learn for the future.

I have tried to reconnect with some of the people who
meant so much to me, and made my heart beat, and my spirit
tremble. The people who challenged me, and who gave me
challenges to face. The people who hurt me, and the people
who made me strong.

Some I have found, some I have not. I feel a heavy sorrow
within lately. and I know that I am lonely, but that I
will be stronger for that soon, I hope. It's time for Mark
to be Mark, and not Mom or counselor, or protector. I MUST
make sense of myself finally, or forever be lost.

To the light in the dark....