Completely Incomplete

Letting Go Is All I've Held Onto
2005-07-01 17:30:39 (UTC)

Amber's confession...

Note: This is written on the spot, and straight from the
heart. Blah blah blah. Yes, I am your stalker ;), and
reading this, you will think so. I know it probably needs
a better everything, but it's the best I've got.

Did you know that fairy tales can come true? Living this
world of magic, love, heartbreak, and pain? When I'm
around him, I feel like a beautiful princess. Apart from
usaul peasent like state. With simple words, he makes me
beautiful. I feel like it's make believe, how could a soul
so pure, so handsom, so charming, sweep me off my feet, as
if written in stone? Sometimes miricals have names. I
stroke the pale scar, and tremble with reality's voice. A
whisper, that drowns in a silent prayer, forged into a
scream. "Kade..." I've screamed his name at the moon and
the stars. Not expecting to hear an answer.
When I was a mere child, I would pray every night. Wishing
for a prince to come rescue me when I was older, and turn
this life of masked pain, into a beautiful fairy tale. My
prayers were answered.
The impression he has on me. I am completely stunned. He's
as bold as a stallion. With every breath he takes, I feel
a chill. A shiver runs down my spine, letting me know,
he'll always be there for me.
Oh, if only he knew. If only he knew, how much I have
thought about it. Thought about leaving the love of one,
and escaping to his tender arms.
So diffrent are we from each other. But the same we share.
The same longing desire to feel each other close. To hold
each other, painted silhouettes of a charming moonlight
portrait. The pain I've felt, imploring to hold his hand,
to touch his face, to hold him close, and make reality
disapear.
As well I want to run away. Contridicted by both emotions,
I sit and close my mouth. I've tried to run, but there's
no escaping his strong, loving grasp. He'll always be
there to pick me up when I fall. My breath of life at dire
need.
Does he know? I want him to. I want him to know just how
much he means, to this drifter on the lonely sea, gazing
at the moon, only to find another soul, drifting a
seperate ocean, staring at the same moon.
He may be a "monster", in his own words. Like a dragon. A
fierce and bold soul. A coat of scales, an edgy weary
black, like charcoal, that has burned with desire and come
to it's end. From his throat rages a furious fire. A
threatening warning to all who come near. It takes a
select few, to look past his chard and intimidating
outside, and into the gentle natured soul. A heart of
gold, that hasn't rusted over time. Time can not melt his
heart, nor can any mortal. It takes ... an angel. An angel
to see past his outside, and into the Dragon's heart. His
heart that will not turn to stone.
If only he knew my fear. The fear of losing him once
again. I lost him once, I have the proof of a scar. I bled
for him, as he bled for me. To know he bleeds, to know the
crimson tears that fall to the floor, and appear on his
skin. To know he is real. To know he loves me. It's ...
indescribable.
I'm in love with a prince, from a far away land.
Oh how my heart once turned a green shaded ill. When he
mentioned the name of another. The sickness of jealousy.
How dare they be able to hold one another, while I'm here
so far away. The bitter justice of an unfair reality.
No one deserves to love him as much as I do. The never
ending bond. This freindship will last in my heart for all
time. He will not be forgotten. And I am longing the day,
when I see him. I know it will happen, love never fails.
The day when I get to hold him, and say 'I love you' in
his ear. I am certain this day will come. Miricals do
happen. Together we are as unstopable as an army, from the
victorious team in a storied novel.
How does that go?

Have you ever caught yourself

Dreaming about him

Then awaking from the wish

But wanting to jump back in

Every tempting motion

Surely Heaven's own

The touch that mended a broken soul

And cured my heart of stone

His firey nature

His charming heart

The tradgedy of reality

Tearing us apart

He's the diamond moonlight

He's the scars on my skin

He's the blood on my razor

He's love's charming sin

If given the chance

I would hold him tight

Stay by his side

Be his star in the night

So I wish for him now

And think of the past

This tender goodbye

That just has to last

I want to be strong for him. I want him to be strong for
me. If only I could, I would take my last breath, to heal
his heart from all the pain. I would sacrifice my feeble
life, so he could feel the never ending joy, that he has
brought me. He's my curse and cure all at once. No one can
make me live, laugh, cry, smile, fear, like he does. No
one has ever done what he has done for me. My life is
formed into an endless thank you. An endless I love you.
If only he knew how much he means to me.
If I could make him see past the dragon, and onto the
tender loving stallion with in. Strong and bold. With the
heart of an angel.
He is satan, and an angel, combined into a mortal. A human
soul. The passionate, undying, never ending furious raging
soul of satan, but ... as tender, sweet, loving, caring,
sensitive, joyous ... as an angel. No matter how much he
denies it, we all need him.
I love him. I love you. I love you Kade. You know I do,
don't try to run. I'll always be here for you, always be
the one you can turn to, no matter what.


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