Loser In The Making
Ad 0:
2005-06-30 04:48:35 (UTC)

I'm sorry. I love you! :(

well this weekend is the thing at my grammas. and like. i
dont want to go. i mean i DO want to see my gramma. but i
dont think i would be able to be in the same room as her
and not just start crying. i feel like crying right now! i
love her soo much! and just the thought of her dying is
killing me inside. i know she probably wants to see me. but
shed forget that i wasnt there the next day.... ughness.. i
could just break into tears right now but i dont want to
because my brothers right here.. this is one of the reasons
why i wish the computer was in my room.
Last time i visited my gramma... she lost circulation her
to brain and her head droped.. and i was in the room. it
scared the shit out of me. but i tried to stay calm just
incase my gramma saw because shes the kind of person who
cares more about me and my neice than herself. she would
have freaked out for us seeing it. and i was so scared.. so
scared that we were gonn have to run her to the hospital..
but my grandpa stayed strong and that kind of helped me not
freak out. but i just dont want to see something like that
happen again. that really scared me! my heart skipped a
couple beats when i saw it. it was really scary.. and it
keeps replyin in my head....
Everyone keeps telling me that i need to go. and i know i
do. i just dont think i will be able to handle it. all the
family members.. i wouldnt be able to cry if i wanted to
without someone commenting on it. i do love my family...
but certain ones i really dont care about. i love my gramma
and grandpa kaiser... my aunt and uncle tim and patty..
anne and jack... i REALLY dont care about clint. but i like
marily his wife.. ugh. and i HATE their daughter june!
ughness. i hate people who act like THEY know everything
and whats best. i feel soo sorry for her children. ughness..

Your Boo.