slave jess

Journal of Joels slave
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2005-06-26 16:08:33 (UTC)

sub diary 26-06-05 4 pm

good afternoon Master Joel,

i know it is late Saturday night for You but as You know it
is Sunday for me. i have such a headache and an empty
feeling inside of me. i am fine except i began my period
today so that maybe the reason for my feelings. i was
going to put them into an email but i didnt wish to. it
seems to me lately that is all i do is whinge about what i
am doing or feeling. i needed to get it out so i may have
chosen the wrong way but i have. with all the sickness
that has been in my home this past week, the washing just
grew and grew. i changed the sheets daily so they guys
felt better. i was keeping up the wash but i have let it
slide so now i pay the price. i feel exhausted. i want to
cry. i feel frustrated. i miss You. i just felt i needed
someone to confide in but i have no one available.

world!!! please stop so i can take a short break. i feel
weak. how can i give to You Master when i cant even give to
myself? deep dark space seems to be so peaceful and worry
free right now. i might have to work tomorrow and i havent
been able to rest like i planned today. i do need more
than 4 hours sleep a day, i know i do. my vision knows i
do, my skin knows i do, my hair knows i do, my aching tired
body knows i do.

Master Joel when will this all end?

big hugs
slave jess {MJ}


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