Eyes4Guys

Personal hell & back again
2005-06-26 00:42:30 (UTC)

Nothing new

There hasn't been much to report on lately. Today would be
the 3rd consecutive day without one of my pregnancy
headaches, but I'm slowly starting to get one. I have a
theory: despite the noise from my job, I'm doing
something. I'm not moving around more than I am in the
apartment, but I have to constantly concentrate on things,
so maybe that is what keeps the headaches away.

Tom and I have been fighting again about stupid things. He
finally got around to doing something. He cleaned the
kitchen and the bedroom, which he hadn't tried to help me
get much done since moving in. But he made it out that I
haven't done anything in here, which I have. Perhaps not
as much as he'd like for me to do, but regardless. When
I'm trapped in here, there isn't much to do here.

I still continue to be disgusted when he wants to have sex
now. I gave in today because I just didn't want to start
another rif. I denied him last night and then two nights
prior and he huffed. No, I'm not upset at my decision
because he chooses to initiate things when I'm already in
bed, most of the time I'm so close to falling asleep, and
then I have a hard time trying to fall asleep again. I'm
in bed to prepare for the next day. It is still difficult
to wake up at 4, but I have to. So the fact that I simply
denied him just to get sleep should be understandable. He
has Wes over so he wastes his "opportunity" while I am
awake, not that I would give in. He was just persistant
today, so I gave in because he was suppose to leave for
work half an hour prior and didn't seem like he was going
to leave until he got himself a piece.

Work is getting easier, because now I have almost
everything down pat. But then we got slammed. The road
leading to the bridge was slammed for about 3 miles out.
So there wasn't a break in cars for about 4-5 hours. I
started to run out of room in my drawer, so I started
shoving money into the bottom drawer. Whenever my relief
came, I tried to hurry and get everything into the bags
and bring them in. Everyone was shorting me, or not
telling me about trailers they were towing, which then
makes my till short. I tried to fix the problem, but
people just kept shorting me. I'm sure I'm short a decent
amount of money, close to $10 or so. It was just difficult
today. The job itself is so easy, god the easiest I've
ever had, but just today. Yeah, it's a Sat. and it's
summer. 4th of July weekend will be so much worse, lord
but I should have expected it. I did, but I was expecting
more order in my drawer, I was expecting people to have
their money ready, I was expecting them to have exact
change, or something close to it since they were in their
car waiting for about 30 or so. I expected them to be
patient because they saw how busy we were. But I expected
too much, or too little in some ways.

It's only 7:30 and I am so tired. I just put in the
Mothman Prophecies, which I still haven't been able to
finish. I'd hate to start it again and not finish because
I wasn't tired until 10 minutes into the movie. I am also
trying to get some food cooked and ready for me to just
bring to work tomorrow. But that in itself in becoming
difficult.

We only have enough money to pay for the rent and a bill.
Our car insurance bill is due soon, so is the
cable/internet bill. We also need groceries. The fridge is
empty. I mean, we still have some canned veggies, some
oatmeal, some frozen meats and some cereal, but making
food is becoming limited. I guess we could use the credit
card again but soon both our credit card bills are going
to be due, I'm sure mine is due really soon. So it's good
that I have a job now. But I won't get a paycheck for
another week, friday. Not like it will be a lot, it will
be just for a few days. Too bad I don't get a weekly
paycheck like Tom, but dammit, I'm about to work more
hours then him and get benefits sooner. I'm only working
24 hours a week at the moment because they dont' know how
my body will take to being still, waking up early and
dealing with shit from people all day. I'm sure they'll
bump be up to 32 a week so I can get benefits. I don't
even know when the hell Tom's hours will be raised. He's
got about 30 a week. But they are promising him to go from
$9 an hour to $11.50 an hour and work him full time,
probably with some overtime. Great, it will be less time
for us to fight and then he can have his benefits. My
health, and the babies, runs out in Nov., before it is
even born. So one of us needs health benefits for the baby
soon.




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