Ken

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2005-06-23 02:37:28 (UTC)

rant

this is how it started with my exwife. We started drifting
apart, argueing, and she spent too much time online.

Mary spent 10 hours yesterday and then 9 today. When she
plays she rarely talks to me except to ask game questions
or ask me to do something. When she does get off at like 9
or 10, she thinks I'll be interested in making out or
something. Well..being neglected doesn't help. That's how
I feel sometimes, as a second thought.

'Oh yeah, I should say I love you to Ken'

Somethings are kinda annoying me..like her bashing me. It
reminds me alot how my folks use to talk to me..'friendly
joking'. Last night, 2 am, and she is sticking her face in
mine as I close my eyes. I asked her to stop but as usual
she doesn't. There is SUCH a big difference between being
asked to stop and told to. So I wound up getting mad and
rolling away. She went and slept on the couch.

She reminds me we are broke (lucky we both have
jobs..don't know if she will stick with it). She bitches
about it's florida. I'm the one taking her dog out 90% of
the time. The cooking I like but it's a coin flip
sometimes if she will clean up.

I'm ranting here cause it helps release some pent up
frustration. She wonders why I don't want to have sex..not
that I find her unattractive cause I do..it's honestly the
feeling that she doesn't respect me or
even..sometimes..love me. I've looked at some of the
letters she wrote me before and I see someone there who
loves me and wants to work with me for a good life..then
when she talks to me, sounds like I'm more like a casual
friend than a soulmate..the connection I thought we had
seems weaker at times....guess that's life.

course she will look at this cause hell, this is a way we
can talk to each other. She will yell at me, course we
made it almost a week getting along..week 2 already had 3
couch sleeps, several fights and just...damn can't wait to
work...maybe it will help my head.


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