love_sufficient

RhoHome
2005-06-22 06:31:23 (UTC)

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im about to watch napoleon dynamite for the first time.
yeah you all wanna kill me. last person in the world to see
it. whatever. can't be that great, can it?

anyway.

point.

shoot.

click.

i just wanted to blar something for a minute. from my point
of view, all my life, my parents have tried to kill all that
makes me happy and my whole purpose has been to mute
whatever pain they inflict and try to sort of prove my
happiness. like slapping them in the face with my
happiness. i came home tonight and i had this thought. my
fun is always ruined by their paranoia. isn't my being
happy supposed to be the most important thing on their list.
yet when it comes to it, they never stop killing it.
completely. or trying to at least. because i come home
with a smile on my face. i know it. they want to see me
come home with a deep frown. they want to see that whatever
work they've done to make me unhappy is sucessful. but i
keep on pushing my enjoyment on them and it just pisses them
off more. especially my dad.
so....WHAT'S WITH THAT?? i wonder. i feel like they're
jealous of me. my happiness and freedom and ability to
smile and be...in public! (?) i mean, it's not like i'm
doing anything wrong or illegal. i'm hanging out with the
people that i cherish in this life that i may not even see
for the rest of it! and they don't see that. they never
do. they never did. they probably never will. and me?
i'm sitting here with a smirk on my face because...i don't
care. cuz i'm gonna be happy. no matter what they do to
try to stop that. nothing they do can bring me down.


i dunno. maybe this is every teen's viewpoint. but not
many take it so easily. alright. napoleon's calling. and
so is lara.

and there it is.

pointed.

shot.

clicked.




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