Nasethray

Book of Dreams
2005-06-21 18:53:35 (UTC)

lonely

i'm feeling really lonely lately. derek has been really busy
and i haven't been able to talk with him, and whenever i
write something it takes him a long time to reply, plus i
had a dream about him ignoring me most of the time. that's
kind of how i feel..left out. i need to get used to it
though, because he's going to be busy probably the rest of
the year. i just don't want to get used to it. i want to be
close to him, he is the one person that means the most to
me. i dunno....i hope he calls me tonight or something. all
i want to do is laugh with him and be happy and loved, that
is all that matters.
here's the dream:
i came to visit your school (talking to derek)
BloodFlower0017: but i got sent to different classes
BloodFlower0017: so we hung out at lunch
BloodFlower0017: and you were being all shy around me
BloodFlower0017: so i was getting annoyed
BloodFlower0017: you like turned your back to me a lot
The Uni Trauma: thats pretty fucked up
BloodFlower0017: so i stormed away when you weren't looking
BloodFlower0017: and suddenly i was wearing a navy blue
trench coat
BloodFlower0017: and i was walking in the grass away from
the playing field among some pretty trees
BloodFlower0017: and a lot of people were climbing them
BloodFlower0017: and swinging around on them
BloodFlower0017: and finally i saw you coming to get me
BloodFlower0017: but i was pissy so i kept walking
BloodFlower0017: then you stopped to play ball on the
playing field
BloodFlower0017: so i went back inside the school
BloodFlower0017: trench coat disappeared
BloodFlower0017: the halls were FILLED with people
BloodFlower0017: and it was 3:00
BloodFlower0017: i went to the bathroom
BloodFlower0017: they had fancy soap
BloodFlower0017: two kinds to choose from
BloodFlower0017: LOL
BloodFlower0017: there were two other girls in there
BloodFlower0017: then i had trouble finding the way out
BloodFlower0017: so i followed one of them
BloodFlower0017: i was supposed to be in "class" at the time
BloodFlower0017: but i knew you didn't have a class the last
period
BloodFlower0017: so i wandered around looking for you
BloodFlower0017: i went into the library
BloodFlower0017: which is near the history classes
BloodFlower0017: i was supposed to be in history so i snuck
around it
BloodFlower0017: i looked everywhere for you
BloodFlower0017: and i checked out 3 books
BloodFlower0017: i think one was on astronomy
BloodFlower0017: can't remember the other ones
BloodFlower0017: then i spotted you sitting up with
headphones on with some people and you were smiling. i
wasn't mad at you anymore so i tried to find a way up to you
but i couldn't. so i wandered around the upper story of the
school and found another bathroom with a sign "Tech only".
then time passed by and i found you by the lockers and i
came up and hugged you but you didn't hug back
BloodFlower0017: sorry my aim fucked over
BloodFlower0017: then you pulled me close to you and kissed
me all sensual
BloodFlower0017: people passed by
BloodFlower0017: so we separated again in the crowd and i
went into an elevator and it was really crowded. and diana
and two other guys were going to have a race on the lower
story, and we could see from where we were
BloodFlower0017: and i was to be the judge
BloodFlower0017: and diana definitely won
BloodFlower0017: then i looked for you again
BloodFlower0017: and found you
BloodFlower0017: i don't remember any more
BloodFlower0017: except i forgot to get off of the bus when
you did so i had to get the bus driver to stop to let me off
BloodFlower0017: and i yelled I'M RETARDED
---------------------------------------------
I Love Derek. i just don't know what to do :(.
With love,
Lauren




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