Angel

Happy birthday to me

There is somthing that has been unsaid, the reason I didnt
put it here is because I was afraid how people would
respond to it, somtimes if you pretend not to see tings,
you start to imagine that others dont see it eather. I
think Im the only one who know, havent told my friends
because I was embarresed, but now Im gonna out it out
here.

Remember my birthday? tommy had gotten free tickets to a
boat so we went on a so called mini cruise (its a tiny
room with no windows, twin beds, you have to pay extra to
upgrate it, so Idont get why they call it cruise) Tommy
was short of monny in the first place, but we had some
savings. I hoped in my heart he had put away some nonny
for a gift for me, but didnt think so. The day afther we
came home was my birthday, I was sick, my mother planned
to take us out, but since I was sick she brought pizza,
and made cakes and she and Gracie came with presents,
Karoline was working. Er eat, watched a movie, talked, and
they went, I was sick and didnt feel like anything else.
But the day started before that, right afther midnight
happy bithday messages started to jump into my phone, it
was officially my birhday, but no congratultions from the
person lying next to me in bed. I wokeup in the morning of
new messages from aunts and cousins, but it stil took
Tommy a while before he congratulated me.
Right before my mother came, he said that he had something
embarrasing to tell me, he had no preasant for me. I had
planned to take me to the tax free (!!!) shop at the boat
right before it closed, but there was some truble, the
boat was delayd and we had some truble packing, so he
thought it was closed when we arived in the hall, but I
knew at that time that it wassnt, so I told Tommy, no it
was open when we came, but he didnt know that then. But he
had tickets so his plan was to take my to the movie and
out eating at a nice resturant afther it. But since I was
sick and feelt bad, we decided to do it a nother time,
when I was better, I had three naps that day, so beeing
woken at a movie would be inpossible, and I didnt feel
like eating much eather. But I liked the idea, it is a
verry nice resturant I`ll always been wanting to go to. He
said he would buy me a present later.
I was a bit sad, no presents at my birthday from my
boyfriend, and beeing sick at my day and unable to do what
he had planned for us.

But time has passed, I got better, sick agen, better, sick
agen, better and is at this moment tot sick... No
presents, no movoie and no fine resturant. Have he forgot
all about it?
He claims birthdays is not verry important to him, and I
belive him. But it is important to he, Im not like Cessy
and only able to think and talk about my self. (it might
not seem so in my diary, but its MY DIARY, and thats why)
most of the time I try to please others, help them and
make them happy. And it would have been nice to get this
one day where people would focus about me for a moment. We
have loong family traditions in my family with my mother
and sisters, my father is more like Tommy.

Tommys first bithday I got up early when I could have
sleept late and went to town, broth lots of decorations,
wich was really expencive, broths presents and food, went
back to his appartment, cleand it, decorated it, mede cake
and dinner and suprised with it and wine when he came
home from work.
Then I think we visited him mother and grandmother.
My first birthday we where at my place, I dont remember
why but we here not happy, I wanted to go on this walk
that I used to do with the dogs, we started but Tommy had
to small shoes and it started to hurt and we went back
home, I got a sweather I had wanted and a Ralph Lauren
body lotion wich he said I had sais I wanted, but I didnt
rememberd it, dissapointed, yes!
His second birhday he had the day off and so did I exept
from one lecture. He coudl sleep while I was at the
lecture, his mother had asked me to call her the day
before, when I didn it was about Tommys birthday so she
asked if I could cal next morning since Tommy was standing
next buy me. I did before the lecture, she was nice asking
about our plans, me and Tommy wanted to go somewhere
spesial about two hours drive form where we live. It would
be 10. am when my lecture was over, so we would have
plenty of time. She asked if insted of our plans, we and
her and Emma could go to this mall, and then she could
borrow 1000 nok from me, and we could ask Tommy to look
afther Emma and them me and her could go and buy Tommy a
gift for 500. I didnt want to, but as I said Im a nice
person, so I agreed on trying to convince Tommy to give up
our plans and go to this stupis mall. Tommy picked me up,
I told him that we could just all go on a mall, we went
back home so he could have a shower, I think he spsuecked
somthing cause he have never been in a shower so long
boefre or afther. When he came out he asked my id his
mother had asked me to borrow her monny, and I told him
everything, about her boworing twice as much as she was
going to spend on him and all the other things she said.
We had agreed o wisit her afther Tommys showe, but he just
passed the house, I said I coulkd understand he was pissed
with his mother, but Emma was waiting for him and it was
wrong to punich Emma for this. The rest of the day I tryed
to make him ahppy agen, we went where we was suposed to, I
paid for everything, food gass, then we came back I took
him to the cinnema, then we wisited his grandmother,
picked up a pizza. But now my good mood was over, I had
tryed to make it a good day, but his mother rad ruind it,
Tommy realised something and we had some fun in the end.

My third birthday I was home in the morning, had bithday
breakfast, got presants from family and chrystall candle
holders from Tommy, hes right I like chrystall, but I
allready had three of the same sort in diffrent heigh, and
he gave me two just the same hight I had one. Then we
wisited his aunt and cousin, I had to borrow her 500, but
we pretended that it was Tommys, so she could come at the
party, but I did get the monny back nest time we where
there . Then went grosery shopping, cleand the appartment
and mede everything ready. Tommy got me a second gift, a
perfume cliniques simple, didnt like it, Tommy had found
one he liked from jean paul gautier (and I love everything
he tuch)but the lady selling said cliniques was better!
arght, but at least he tryed..
Then the guest came, Tommys best friend and his
girlfriend, Karoline and Tommys cousin. The appartment is
really, really samall so it was crowded. Cessy was on a
school trip and Kelly was supose to come, but claimed she
didnt resice some monny she was supposed to that day, and
was broke. There where three others invited but they could
not come eather, I guess it was a bad time to have
birthday.
The others wanted to go out, I didnt want to and said you
guys just go and I`ll stay here. Tommy didnt want to leave
me, and I figured it would seem weird that we stayd, like
we where unhappy about the party, so we went to the buss
with the others. While waiting for it, Tommy said he had
go get buss fair from me, he was out of monny! So I ended
up paying buss into the city, getting into a club and taxt
home for us. So thats why he stayd if I stayd? A little
bit hearbroken yes, he could be a gentle man and pay for
the whole ting at my birthday.

Tommys third bithday, we had the day off, he got gifts,
went shopping, his mother did not had the time to see her
only soon at his bithday because she would be bussy
grocery shopping with friend. So I did my best go give
him a good day, since she was abolusly not going for it.
Then we wisisted his grandmother. I tryed to give him a
good day, everyone deserves a nice birthday.
My third birthday tougether with Tommy is the one I wrote
about first.

Now here is the salt in my wounds. There have been sale on
some dvd players and Tommy really wants to give one to
Emma at her birthday, but he cant keep it for that loong
so he wants to give it to her in advance! He wants to but
his sister a present, her bithday are not comming before
October when he have not brough his girldfriend who had
birthday in March her birthday presant yet!
Emma, or the spoiled monster as I refer her to with my
firends have allready gotten a lot of things from Tommy
lately. When she was hospitalized she got things of
course, then he took her to mcdonalds because their mother
could not paid for it, and the other day I helped him to
get this dragon that he have been wanting to give her,
okey, she is his little sister.
When he came home from his boys trip the first time he had
brought her a thing and me some soda, but with suger, I
always wahve light, siro, extra, or max, not regular with
sure, but I dont drink that much soda, but was happy I got
a gift, cause usally I dont. He had brough smoke to his
mother, she was going to pay it but had no monny, she had
borrowed some monny from him afther it. Then she asked him
the other day how much she owed him and he told her, then
she said, but I didnt get any birthday presents from you
this year... so they agreed that the smoke should be her
birthday presant!! Hello!! This is not me saying nether
did I, this is me saying neather did you!!! He have not
gotten a birthday presant from her in two or three years
amd she thinks she deserves one!!

Then he went on his second trip, I asked for the diet
soda, but said I would pay for it, but got it as a gift,
that was nice. But Emma... she got a bag of candy that
Tommy wanted to give her on Moday and ask her to wait with
it til Satturday, hello! Hen kids see candy they want
candy, and Emmas mother is not able to say no, she thinks
let just the kid have it so she will shup ut, not verry
clever psycologi. Then she got an addidas sweater cause
Tommys mother said she needed a new seater and Tommy want
her to look nice and cool, wich is really sweet.
Usally its Emmas grand mother who buy her clothes, but
she and Emmas mother had a fight so Im not sure at this
moment.And she got a f1 car, I love F1, thsi one was red
like my faborite, ferrari, schomacker, and Emma got it.
she dossnt even now the f1!!
So Im a bit pissed now, I am his girlfriend and I think if
anyone should be getting something its me.
Mybe I should talk with Tommy about this, cause its been a
while since my birthday and its stil bothering me. But I
feel so stupid about it, and Im afraid Tommy will think Im
jalux or that its about something else.