Kalamity K

The Daily Chaos of Kalamity K
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2005-06-17 23:31:25 (UTC)

WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU?

He comes in to talk. I'm stroppy. We have words. He
leaves and as soon as the door is closed for the last
time, he starts walking down the hall to the kitchen and
not a foot out the door, I hear him start his fucking
little humming. "Doo dooooo doo doo."

[-SCREAMS-] GROW THE FUCK UP.

I know I'm used to living in a household where you walked
on eggshells when a particular person got angry but you
know what? I'M LEARNING BETTER THAT THAN THIS. Shut the
FUCK UP or I'll ram those fucking notes down your fucking
throat so far they'll give you musical fucking FEET.

[-SCREAMS-]

And as luck would have it, my counsellor cancelled on me
for tomorrow. I have to give them 72 hours notice but
they cancel with 24. Fuck off. Probably a good fucking
thing anyway because really, we accomplish nothing but
keeping us together for a bit more of a prolonged period.
I don't understand why he doesn't ask us if we are
compatible. I guess our word that we want to try (HAH!)
is good enough for him. My boyfriend, by the way, thinks
we are doing really well. Excuse me while I wipe my tears
of hysterical laughter.

He's right though. He's said a few times he gets the
feeling nothing would ever be good enough. It never will
be. You know why? BECAUSE I'M A MOTHER FUCKING DEMANDING
BITCH WHO WANTS EVERYTHING SHE CAN'T HAVE AND HATES
EVERYTHING SHE DOES HAVE UNTIL IT'S GONE AND THEN SHE
WANTS IT AGAIN. I'M A SELFISH, HIGH-MAINTENANCE, UGLY FAT
BITCH. And one who is self-righteous and who LOVES being
miserable. God forbid I ever be happy. What would I
fucking write about?

Oh look at that. From the hallway in a happy (or at least
neutral) voice, he calls out: "I know you're angry and I
understand why, but you have to come and watch the
television. You have to..." I'm not fucking moving.
Probably missing the equivalent of the Berlin Wall coming
down or something. Would fucking figure. Where were you
on 17 June 2005 when it happened? FUCKING MYSELF THROUGH
SPITE.

[-affixes a big happy smile-]

Time for me to go and play now and let everyone pretend
like nothing every happened...because apparently nothing
ever did.

[-another bright smile-]

In a few minutes everything will be okay again. [-syrupy
voice-] I'm so glad!

K2


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