Angel

My Life & My Memories
2005-06-09 05:18:52 (UTC)

Trust...

Trust..again just another word? I was so wrong about
him...I thought he would never lie to me...I thought it
was his family problems that pulled him away from me but
no it was not...truth hurts and it kills you...I dont want
to feel this..I want this to go away...I want him to go
away and stop haunting my me and my dreams...

Right now, I feel stabbed by a very good friend...someone
I trusted and confided in...I want to hide where no one
can find me...

Trusted her with my heart thinking she was my only
communication with him and she took him away from me...why
me?

Am I being punished for something? Everytime I think
things are working out for me and I am happy and life is
beautiful...I am so wrong...Its like I am cursed. I cant
love anyone...and if I love anyone they will go away from
me or taken away from me...its like history repeating
itself...God, I had felt it back then, I had known, why
didnt I listen to my heart, why didnt I listen to
Elisa...she was so damned right and I trusted him...I even
dreamt about him being with someone else and I told him
and I emailed her for crying out loud and none of them
said a word to me!!! WHY DIDNT THEY SAY ANYTHING IS WHAT
IS KILLING ME AND MAKING ME GO INSANELY CRAZY!! I WANT TO
KILL SOMEONE RIGHT NOW!!

She thinks she knows how I feel?? I dont think she has
even the slightest idea about how I feel...I dont think
anyone does...

You know what? I think I am done...I dont think I need
this at this point. I am going to survive this blow as
well...I am a survivor...thats who I am...

I guess you are my only true friend from now on...everyone
seems to be ditching me...I am always left alone but I
dont want to be left alone anymore...




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