Lunactic Scriptures
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2005-06-07 19:00:10 (UTC)

2 days left...

to when? well if ya don't know, then go back too page one.
OOH~! i'm gona listen too Afraid Of Me. fuckin love that
song. -sigh-

well...not much changed since lately. Hadda interview with
Toys R' Us, but suprise suprise i didn't get the job. :|
still jobless, friendless, and pennyless livin at home
with nowhere too call my own. "i am my own worst enemy..."

gah...i gotta get outta this fuckin bottomless pit of a
rut. mom asked where'd i be 5 years from now and i'm
scared too think it. I gotta letter from myself 5 years
ago back in the 10th grade asking me a bunch of shit of
how i'd be. i remember writing thinking '5 years from now?
That's plenty of time too change." well....sorry kid, but
not much has changed. Still fat, Still single, Still
virgin, and Still gettin yelled at from my room by my
parents too get my shit together.

how fuckin sad is that...

if i only had a clue myself too help me out. Ms. Therapist
tells me she had fuckin lotta jobs till she did what she
did now...and that freaked me out. i don't wanna job hop
from one too another lookin for what i want cuz i should
know what i want right now right!? GAH! "something is
wrong with me. i can't be who i need too be. something is
wrong with me. will it last for eternity?" [another good
song by Twiztid]

seems like the only thing that helps me going is my music.
it's the only thing that gives me energy and motivation
too get up and change. it's where i can escape, dream,
feel good and reassured that i got the Family at my back.
I'm so fuckin glad too be a Juggalo. guaranteed i'd be
more fuckin depressed and shit if i hadn't found these
guys out. maybe i should become a music artist artist? i
dunno. i've got the power of passion too drive me towards
my goal, but it's hard too see where i'm goin when i'm
blindfolded too what my own dreams are...

i wish my mom could see the beauty behind the Hatchet. If
i become who i am, it drives her nuts and she wonders why
i don't act like myself and i cover it up. I put too much
hurt on this family of mine. "no time for feeling sorry,
I'll grieve another day..."
Good idea. I'll play Die Motherfucker Die and go do some
yardwork like i'm supposed too be doing. Peace.