Angel

DayDream Believer
Ad 2:
2005-06-06 13:33:13 (UTC)

My problem inlaw

I finaly found the currage to ask Tommy if he LOVED me
yesterday. He said LOVE for him was something diffrent than
it was for me, I known that for a while, but I stil wonderd.
He said the answer was definatly not no, and that his
feelings was better than ever, but the answer was not a yes
eather. Im hot hurt, not suprised, nothing. I just needed
to hear him say it. I will write more about it later, but
first there is something else I need to get off my chest.

Like I`ve written before Tommy`s family is not like the
Bachams, not poch at all, bad economy, no education, lot of
divrces, and a lot of non working people. Tommys mother
dont work, shes at home, Emma is in kindergarden so what
she do with her spare time is a big mystery (I`ll tell you
what she dont do, and thats hosework!) Sometimes she`s out
of monny and ask people if she can borrow, Tommy told her
to nok ask me, and me if she ever asked me say no in the
beginning of our relationship. But stil she ask and I tell
Tommy even though she ask me not to and I`ll ask Tommy not
to tell her I told him what I promised not to tell him. A
lot of times I made exuses that she cant, other times I`ve
messed up so she does borrow me monny. I feel so quilty to
Tommy when it happends, but I tell him about it. Its his
family and we`re suppose to be a couple with out secrets
for eachother, yes I do have secrets for him , but I also
have my morale and I would feel wrong to have secrets about
his family from him , the same way I feel it would be wrong
if he knew something about my family and did not tell me.

This morning I woke up because my phone got a message, it
was his mother and I though she wanted something form me,
monny or to babysit. I didnt answer and buy the time I woke
up afther dreaming about what she wanted I had gotten a new
message, she asked if she could borrow some monny from me,
I would get it back the 20. I dont like to borrow people
monny and I knew what Tommy feelt about me borrow monny to
her, so I told her the truth that I didnd deliver the not
who said how monny hours I`ve been woprking leately in
time, so now I will have to wait to next sallery time
before I get the monny I`ve worked for, and I needed the
monny I had to things I needed until then. Puh, crises over
for this time, this I managed well I thought to my self!
And the best thing was, I didnt had to lie to her, it was
the truth, in the message it said please dont tell Tommy,
but I knew I had to, but he would not be angry since she
didnt get any monny.
Then she called me, she had just rememberd she got some
monny on Thursdays so is she could just borrow some monny
of me and I would get it back on Thursday, then I would
stil have the monny to pay for the things I needed until my
next sallery. Eh, eh, what was I to say? I had just woken
up, and she seemed to have solved the problem? There was
nothing to say, my monny was hers, sorry Im not that smart
apperantly. We talked a bit and the next bomb came, she
told me she had khols and that I was not to tell Tommy that!
Woman why are you doing this, its killing me. I dont know
of coruse if she has khols or just made it it, she smoke a
lot, the monny she wanted was for buying tobaco. She was
completly out of monny, didnt have any monny so she could
take the buss so she had to walk for her doctors appointemt
that morning.
I had to get dressed and walk to the mall to meet her and
give her my nmonny, I feelt so quilt and bad for Tommy. I
really did try to do like he wanted, not give her any
monny, and feelt so bad for not making it.
We talked for a while but the khols did not came up, then
she thanks me and told me not to tell Tommy because he
would only get angry with her, so I said no.

What do I do now??
Should I tell Tommy about my mistake and that she now has
my monny? I think so, he might get mad, but is in every
righ to. Should I tell him that his mother told me she has
a disise? Dunno, its not right to hide something like this
from him, but its not my job to tell him that his mother is
sick, if she really is she should tell him when shes ready.
Im not sure what to do, and feel so quilty.

Angel


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