La Vida Mia
Ad 2:
2005-06-05 05:32:19 (UTC)

June 5, 2005

things havent gone so well. i thought we were doing good.
he was calling me frequently, well for him, he was
responsive, it was moving along. i went down to dsm for a
test and he said he wanted to conver and spend the night
with me, i was so excited. he couldnt make it. he said
that he wanted to get together after my test, he couldnt
make it. finally he said he didnt know if he wold be able
to go to this thing "wed", in reality I, had been planning
for a few months. he called to cancel because whatever his
reason was. he always has excellent excuses, always
excuses you cant get mad at because they are so selfless.
he left the cancelation message on my phone on the first
thursday in may, i called him back saturday night after
finally deciding to grow some balls and told him not to
call me anymore. i really wish i wouldnt hav done that. i
said that it was too hard being his phone pal and that
since i had/still have some really intense feelings for him
it wasnt a good idea to do whatever we were doing. i told
him that if he ever really felt anything then he could call
me but if i was just his pal, not to bother. i wish i was
his pal. i really miss him and still think about him 17000
times a day. i keep thinking in the back of my head that
if i move to dsm things will suddnely improve but i really
doubt it. im not sure what his deal is. i know at one
time he liked me, i know that he did, i hope that he still
does and always will. i really miss him. how can somebody
be so hot and cold. i suppose its karma coming back to
me. it always comes back. always. i miss him.