Fallen Angel with no Heart

An angel's life
Ad 2:
2005-06-03 21:58:14 (UTC)

My gran.. i love u, i will do wat u say and neva let any1 hurt me, neva let any1 lov me.

It ten eyars trmw since she died, and i miss her everyday,
the last memory was...

My gran died bout 4 oclock in the afternoon. I remeber
that day i had seen her bout 2 o'clock. My uncle Leon had
took me, my grandad would have, but him and my gran never
got on, he used to beat her, hit her, for keeping the
animals keeping the one thing in the world she loved
beside me, my gran never let him see the pain he caused
her sometimes wen he used to hit her so hard. she told me
that showing a weakness is a sign of weakness, that you
should never allow anotehr person, anothing being ever
allow to see you weak, never be weak. Anyways, he took me
and i remember cin her on the bed, she told my uncle leon
something while i stood at the foot of the bed. that was
the last time i saw her, a few eyars after that i
realised she must have sent my uncle leon to get me out as
soon as possible, because she was weak, she was frail.
That was the last time i saw her.
I went back to my gran's house ( my home i will call
it now) and i saw my grandad sitting watching tv, i went
up to my room, and sat in it for ages, until it grew dark,
and finally fell asleep with crying. I woke up to find
that my gran had died while i was asleep, well before i
was asleep. My grandad had came in and told me, i
followed him down the stairs, remebering sitting waiting
at the table waiting for my breakfast. But it neva came,
i began to get hungry, so i went in and made it myself.
from then on, each day i never saw my grandad. He used to
come and see me in my room every now and then. not saying
anythin, i guess jsut lookin in to make sure i was still
alive, i used to make myown food, and gran taught me how
to cross stitch, i sat and did that all day for 7 days.
Finally on the 7th day i walked past my gran's room ( my
grandad and gran had separate rooms) for some reason i
wanted to walk in, i knew my grandad wouldnt like it, but
i didnt care. I wanted to smell my gran, i wanted to touch
her wall's to feel like she was still there, as if she was
still there in the house, cooking downstairs.
I walked in and i sat on her bed. I still remember to
this day where everything was, all the figures she had of
dogs, each one. each type of dog. But her cross stich of
flowers caught my eye. I realised it was only a little
done, he hadnt even barely started it, being me i walked
over to it, and i touched it, i picked it off the stand
and started to look on her bed. i sat down, looked up...
to find my grandad lookin at me at the door of her room.
I cant remeber what he was shouting he was in a fit of
rage though, i remembered cin him that angry jsut b4 he
used to hit her. He grabbed me, and threw me at the
opther side of the corridor, so i was right next to the
stairs, right at the top of them ( they were straight
stairs,no curves in them) and i remeber looking down.
Next minute i was at the bottom of the stairs, and i
looked up looked around to c my uncle leon next to me, he
picked me up and i started crying my whole body was in
pain, i was so sore ( it was only a few weeks b4 that,
that my leg had a rose bush right into it,) he must have
said something to my grandad, cause i remeber sitting in
the car, my uncle leons and my grandad, shoutin at the
car, at my uncle.
For a week i stayed at my uncle's until i guess my mam
and dad were ready to accept that they couldnt handle me,
that they had no choice but to take me in. I have three
cousin's well my uncle has 3 daughters, they couldnt take
me in even if they wanted to. so from the 4th of june my
life changed.
My outlook on my grandad changed, my mam and dad have
never liked my uncle leon, as they believe that he could
have kept me at his house,... still to this day they dont
want me in the house.
I see my grandad from time to time, he gives me money
now, cause he knows i know alot more than anyone ever
could, about how he hit my gran, how he used to hit her.
The worst thing i remeber, is that we had a dog, she
was called Peppy. she was a poodle, a gorgeous white
poodle. she was alive before i went to c my gran at the
hospital at 2o'clock. by bout an hour she was dead when i
had come home. Again i realised that then she must have
not have known that my gran had died and that she didint
want to be alone, i wanted to go with her too.
But then my uncle leon told me a few years ago that my
grandad had never liked the animals my gran had kept, that
thats y they always used to argue ( my uncle leon didint
knw he'd hit her for it though) and so that day wen i had
left, he knew that my gran, his wife was dying, and he
didnt want to c her.He killed peppy, he buried her in the
back garden, within a hour of me being out the house. He
didnt want a memory of my gran, his wife in the house, i
guess thats y he didnt like me being in her room.
My gran loved animals, she loved making anyone feel
happy, even my grandad. She wanted to make anyone feel
loved, anyone feel needed anyone feel wanted. anyone and
anything, thats y she kept all the pets that were astray,
peppy was the last one, and thankfully she left the same
day my gran did, so my gran didnt go alone. Thats y i love
animals, they need to feel loved the need to feel wanted,
feel needed, just like evryone does on this planet.

i love u, i will do wat u say and neva let any1 hurt me,
neva let any1 lov me, neva feel lov. its more important
for people to feel it, for animals, anythin to feel it. I
wont EVER go bk on ur word gran, no matta wat any1 says.
Ill make u proud.. i
promise,xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

( my jukebox jsut turned onto brown eyed girl, again...
spooky thats 2wice its done that today. ) xxxx


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