thepatient

The hospital
2005-06-01 05:05:53 (UTC)

Voices In My Head

I sit in this chair, I close these gentle eyes, I draw a
smile across my tranquil face, yet that’s just my face I
use to hide the truth. What really goes on, the utter
demise of a sane person.... it's all coming back, dark
days beckon again.

It started with a time, so pure, so free, the unknown were
no threat, yet just like all good things, it must come to
an end. In a flash splendour was raped from this world,
spread out on a table and devoured for all to see.

I walked down a long twisted hallway, surrounded by many
doors along the way. All grey and desolate, nothing to
call upon my interests. The boring walk I have done for
years, everything is always the same.... Again, and again,
the swing goes up then down, up then down.

Would this walk ever end, would I ever find a door that
was not so desolate, not so dead within? I craved for
life, for I had no life myself, I needed my fill. So wish
be granted, I opened the door at the end of the hallway,
an end that I had searched for through the infinite. Like
a child in a candy store I divulged in the pleasures that
laid before me, but pleasures only last so long, and when
I had eaten all I could, I moved on through another door
at the end of the room, worst mistake I had ever partaken
in.

This door was different, this door called me, a female
voice could be heard whispering my name…. Yet after this
experience to come my name would never be the same. I
feared what lay ahead, but I turned that handle and with a
breath of stale air, I was fucked for life. Inside a
woman in all black holding a pipe of glass,
“Indulge child, the only way to live in this dungeon.”
How could I refuse a gift from a girl with such a pretty
smile, one that looked so good could never lie could they?

Lesson be learned, next thing I know I sit in a corner all
alone with the shadows of this world. Laughing at
absolutely nothing at all, dwindling away into my own
reality of despair. At least I have this glass gift the
wench had laid before me. Even though I was a slave.... I
had freedom, in a room, with only shadows which care for
themselves, it was always about our selves.

WAKE UP.... SOMEONE SHOOK ME.... WAKE UP.... IT’S NOT YOUR
TIME.... HOLD ON.... WE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH.... PLEASE MY
LOVE DO NOT PINE....

A hand laid before, and it screamed at me to take a
hold....
So I did, no more could I take the shadows of frigid time,
laughing hysterically around me.... THEY WERE ALWAYS
LAUGHING. As I grabbed the hand I had escaped, for the
time being, but I was not the same person, now there was a
tattoo burned across my head.
-INTERNAL SKETCH-
Yes this is me this is now, and though I had broken free
of that crystal filled room, like I said, I was fucked for
life. Now even though years of days have gone by, I can
see my world crashing down again. A different door, but
it still calls me.
“COME SKETCH COME”
So I sit there staring, slowly making my decision, to turn
the handle, or to sit here in this black world for the
rest of my life.

Close my vacant eyes, draw a frown across my restless
face, the truth behind the mask.
This sane person not so sane anymore, it’s only a matter
of time tell I fall again….swing always goes back and
forth.... back and forth.... Back and forth.... darker
days beckon again.

“the voices return”




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