Date With Destiny
2005-05-29 20:55:41 (UTC)

Quitting can be a lonely road . . . at first.

From Peter_is_in on 2/15/2004 8:42:49 PM
Quitting can be very lonely . . .

To quit smoking encompasses so much. There are major
decisions and commitments to be made prior to commencing a
quit. We plan on a quitting method, a quit date, support
mechanisms and the right attitude. Then we commit to our
established plan and once implemented we take on all the
assaults of cravings, doubters, questionable resolve and
even loneliness.

Loneliness in quitting takes on many forms. In our quit we
have isolated a number of social outlets in our lives. And
in doing so we are left in a limbo of sorts because we
don’t readily have a replacement for the void we now
created. For example, the first feeling of loneliness,
comes from the cutting of ties with a long known friend, or
at least what we thought was a friend, and that is with
nico. For most of us nico was an escape and a comfort to us
during difficult times and a welcomed celebration partner
in good times. We carried that friend with us for a long
time and it was only until we realized that nico wasn’t
really a friend, did we decide to end the relationship.
None the less, a friend of sorts has been lost and now
needs a healthier replacement.

Loneliness comes from losing the smoking camaraderie we
also enjoyed. We no longer want to be a part of the smoking
coffee breaks and the smoking bar scenes that, although
enjoyed for conversation and companionship, were poisoning
our body and damaging our health. We eventually will rejoin
those types of breaks and sessions in a smoke-free
environment but for now we have isolated a certain way of
life. The lack of understanding as well from our smoking
buddies also contributes to the sense of isolation.

And one of the most frustrating elements that can cause a
sense of loneliness is the lack of understanding from those
close to us. Friends and family that do not completely
understand can be forgiven however, since, even within
ourselves, we aren’t quite sure about the impact the quit
has on us. But it is clear that we are somewhat isolated in
our struggles and frustrations with our quit. So many
emotions are activated and played on during our quit. The
struggle is truly an internal one and those looking from
the outside in have little appreciation of some of the
struggles a quitter goes through. For many of us, after
many failed attempts in trying to make non-smokers (and non-
reformed smokers) understand our struggles, we tend to
withdraw into a self-suffering quit.

However, not all is doom and gloom, far from it. Quitting
smoking is a journey to a better life for us. It is a major
change that will require some sacrifices at first but holds
promises of many rewards. What is important in your quit is
too understand that it can be lonely and that it is not
unusual to feel somewhat isolated. But if you look around
you can find those that are in the same situation. What
makes a quit easier is the ability to share frustrations,
vents and accomplishments with those that can relate. It is
the best way to take the loneliness factor out of your quit.

I think the biggest reason why people come to this place is
to seek the support and understanding that they cannot
easily find in their own 3-D world. We all come here
seeking help from people who, on the one hand are
strangers, but on the other hand are companions in
understanding. It is in places like this we can draw on the
strength and friendship of others . . . and in turn it
takes off that cold edge of quitter’s loneliness.

While it is great to not feel lonely in our quit because of
places like this, we must try to bring what we have learned
into our own 3-D world. We need to make sure that although
we came here because it filled a void, that we do not
create or expand a void in our own world. We need to share
the rewards of our quit with our family and friends and
continue to build a better life style for ourselves.

So if you feel alone in your quit . . . don’t. You have
made a big step in coming to this place. It is a place that
you will always remember as a retreat in your quit. Take
advantage of those that want to help and also give some of
your self. Just like you are not alone in your desire to
have a better life, a smoke-free life, you need not be
alone in your quit.