Completely Incomplete

Letting Go Is All I've Held Onto
2005-05-25 03:41:54 (UTC)

llama ... poem ... I got bored

I got bored. This afternoon. So I wrote a poem .. I
thought well as long as Im waiting for Nik to ocme on, so
I can set things straight ... and so everything will be
okay, I might as well post it while I have the chance.

THREADS

grab the knife, stiffen your grip
hold on tight, don't let it slip
tear you skin, with every stroke
ignore regret, and promises you broke

they dont understand you and your need
they dont understand why you have to bleed
the crimson tears that line the blade
you bleed, you die, you're not afraid

drops hit the floor of agony and fear
blood trickles away, your actions sincere
line after line beaded with red
woven flesh, you tear each thread

you touch the wall, you're feeling faint
a barbaric children's finger paint
fresh blood hits the floor, drops one by one
look down at your wrist, what have you done?

Cheery huh? Its just what was on my mind ... and on my
mind NO MORE. I want to set things straight. I want
everyone to know Im sorry. I want everything to be okay. I
know I have some problems to deal with ... but Ill make it
through, I know. As long as I can tell them ... how sorry
I am. And I ... more then anything right now ... I just
want Nik to come online. I want to set things right .. I
want to make it okay. Which I could do. IF ONLY HE'D COME
ON. I HAVE TO TELL HIM SOMETHING AND I NEED HIM HERE TO
TALK TO!!!
Im all shakey. Its not that big of deal ... but its the
biggest deal in the world. Nothing means more to me right
now .. then telling him Im sorry. I ... have to do it. Id
wait up all night just to tell him my regret ... my
sorrow. He probably fell asleep. God fucking damn it. I
need him here right now. I need to talk to him ... Id ...
Id give almost anything .. if his status would just ocme
online ... right now. Pathetic? Yes ... but Im past caring
about how pathetic it seems. Past all of it. I need him
here .. I need to talk to him. Badly.




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